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My head is spinning with the news. Holy hell, it’s happening. “That’s incredible. Thank you, Trina.” I get to my feet, quickly downing the last of my beer and placing the empty glass on the table. “I should get. I need to charge my phone and I should call Arlo and tell him the news. And Lorelai…” I trail off, thinking.

“Of course.” Trina’s eyes are dancing with amusement as she holds out her hand. “Thank you, Craig. And congrats on number two! It’s been a pleasure working with you and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.”

I shake it, reaching around and placing a kiss on her startled cheek before turning to her wife and giving her a hug. “Good night, you two.” I throw all the cash I have in my wallet on the table. “For my drinks and another round on me. Go wild.”

I make it back to the duplex in silence, feeling strange. I’m elated, of course, but it’s surreal, too. I’ve had hits before. But this feels better somehow—more intense—because I love these people so much. I want only good things for them. I want Lorelai back in the spotlight. She deserves it and I was able to help her with that. It’s… it’s a lot. I’m walking up the drive in the dark when I hear the soft strumming of a guitar and her sweet and smoky vocals ring out. She must be on the balcony with Maren. I don’t want to interrupt, so I wait. And listen.

I don’t recognize the song. It must be new. It’s not something we laid down in the last few weeks, at any rate.

You let me go—

Well, that’s a lie. You pushed me out the door.

My heart gives a lurch in my chest. A steady throb. Is she—

And slammed it in my face

You locked it twice.

I didn’t—is that what she thinks? That I froze her out?

And said I was a waste

Of time

Of space

Of effort

Of lace

You let me go

And I bet

you wish you didn’t now

I’m frozen in time, stock-still under the balcony in the dark, her soft words finding purchase like little needles stabbing my skin, poking my veins, and bleeding me out. The words sting, but it’s her voice. God, it burns from the inside out. She hates me. I did this. I kicked her out. I was her friend and I made her feel worthless. Less than. When she’s… fuck. She’s everything and she’s right. I threw it all away.

29CRAIG

I’M NOT ALONE

I have to leave town. After hearing Lorelai’s song on the balcony, I dart up the stairs as silent as possible and call my sister, waking her up, to tell her I want to surprise Dustin with an adventure in the mountains. I’ll be there at sunrise, ready to go. To her credit, she doesn’t chew me out, much, for the last-minute plans. Either I sound as desperate and unhinged as I feel or maybe she’s just ready for a weekend without kids around. Either way, I pack up everything we can possibly need and ignore the intense pang when I hear Lorelai’s familiar tipsy laughter ring out through the sliding glass door.

This, right here, is why you don’t rent out half your duplex to your friend you’re in love with. Christ, someday soon Lorelai is gonna bring a random guy back to our place and I will have to set the entire thing on fire and burn it to the ground.

After sounding the alarm and making sure everyone is out.

And also maybe sending a letter so she moves her expensive stuff out to safety.

And I’ll grab my asshole cat, first.

Okay, fine, that’s a lot of fucking work. I’ll just move out.

And you know what? After hearing that song, I deserve to have to move out. Once that song hits the radio (which itwillbecause I will produce the hell out of it. I can already tell it’s a banger), disappointed women everywhere will scream it from rafters and I will become the poster boy for fucking up a good thing.

Until then, I have a nephew who needs me (or maybe I need him at this point) and the open air of the Smokies andno girls are allowed.Thank God.

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