AllFreeNovel
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I might not have told her I love her, but she’s always known.
I just have to explain it to her, is all.
I’m so distracted, having revelations and making plans, that I miss a lot of what’s being said until my ears perk up at a name.Myname. Shit, apparently they’re discussing me and I didn’t even realize it.
“Craig’s recently come into the spotlight after releasing a viral video singing ‘Jonesin’,’” Amy is saying, “causing some to speculate that maybehewrote it all along. Can you confirm that?”
Lorelai presses her lips together, clearly hesitating, and I want to shout at her, “It’s fine! I don’t give a fuck anymore!” But obviously I can’t, and it doesn’t matter because she’s already speaking.
“I can only confirm that the mystery bridge—that’s my favorite part.”
“Interesting.” Amy’s eyes brighten with understanding. “What about the rumors that the song is about you?”
I swallow hard. Lorelai should know the truth, but doesshe know it in the same way she knows I love her? Christ on a cracker, I need to communicate better.
“I can’t say for sure. I’ve never straight-up asked! You’ll have to get Craig on here and drill him about it.”
I hear a snicker coming from behind me and whirl around to face Arlo, who is rocking side to side in his chair and smirking at his manicure.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing,” he says, undeterred in his rocking. “Just imagining you facing down that itty-bitty host while she tries to worm out all your secrets.”
“Lorelai’s killing it.”
“She is,” he admits, proudly. “But we’ve always known our girl was meant for the national stage.”
And suddenly I’m justso fucking overhiding everything. Keeping things locked up so long I’m justaskingsomeone to swoop in and steal her out from underneath me. “I wrote ‘Jonesin’’ about Lorelai. Years ago. After we hooked up the first and only time—well, until recently,” I tell him.
To his credit, he stops rocking, but doesn’t look judgmental or even surprised. “How long has it really been?” he asks softly.
I grab a hank of my hair, making a face. “Since the first time she called me Huckleberry, probably. I don’t know.”
Arlo nods to himself, rising from his chair and leading me to it, placing his hands on my shoulders to sit me down. He looks me square in the eye. Communicating a hell of a lot of unsaid things that likely start with “it’s about time you manned up” and ends somewhere around “get your head out of your ass and focus.”
Out loud, however, he says, “She’s gonna perform after the commercial. You should watch.”
And so I do. I’m expecting her to play “What They Have,” since Amy brought it up earlier and it’s the song most familiar to her newer fans. It’s also got that fantastic tie-in with Cameron and Shelby Riggs, who are still the media’s darlings sinceHomeMadewrapped on their second season. If I was Trina, it’s what I would have her do in lieu of the duet sans Coolidge.
But she doesn’t play “What They Have” or any of the other songs from her album. Instead, she looks right at the camera—right atme—and says in the most beautiful voice I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing, “This is about a man, but at the end of the day, it ain’t about Drake Colter.”
It’s the song from the other night. The one she played on the balcony, and my stomach turns, uncomfortably. This is exactly what I’d imagined would happen. I don’t want to listen, but I know I need to. She said it herself. This isn’t about Drake. It’s about me and what I did. I owe her this.
She finishes the first stanza and despite the sinking feeling in my gut, I’m proud of her. Proud to know her and be whatever it is I get to be for her from here on out. To do better than the man from this song.
She’s still singing, and I’m mesmerized.
You told me no
More like you told me “screw your dreams, mine mean more”
And ripped away your hand
Wiping it clear of mine
And canceling all our plans
Her voice is a breathless near whisper, but the words pierce me and I shut my eyes, taking them to heart.
