AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Winnie shakes her head, not taking the bait. “I’d have to sit through the bull riding to get to the barrel racing.”
“Of course.” I think about pressing the life coach thing butdecide to drop it. After all, Walker wanted us to befriend Winnie Sutton, and so far, I’ve done nothing but mess things up with this girl. I get an idea and lean over the cleared-off bench where Garrett is already pulling out thick books with complicated numbers I recognize from my AP math classes. “You know, I have my first rodeo this Friday night at the county fairgrounds. It’s a local event, but I’m rusty as fu—dge. Maybe you girls could come and watch?”
Garrett looks at her sister, her dark eyes wide and pleading. “Can we?”
Winnie doesn’t look at me, only her sister. Her expression is softer than I’ve ever seen. Something clicks into place in my brain, watching them.
“Maybe,” she concedes. “It might be fun to watch as long as neither of you get any ideas.”
Ah. So I’m not the only one pushing Winnie to race.
I press my hand over my heart. “I swear, as your unofficial life coach, to get zero ideas.”
Winnie’s full lips twitch, and it’s the closest thing I’ve seen to a smile on this girl yet. Baby steps.
Walker’s voice nudges in the back of my mind.Quit while you’re ahead, Case. This is enough for now.
I’ve been in the arena for an hour, sitting on my tailgate, riding bag at my feet, fighting nerves. Walker’s ghost legs dangle next to mine as I take a small sip from my water bottle, wishing I had something a little stronger, even if what I got is already roiling in my gut.
Everything feels wrong. The noises are too loud and sharp, the lights too bright and harsh. My smiles are fake, my handshakes are weak, and I can’t stop my legs from shaking. I am literallyshaking in my fucking boots. Not because I’m afraid of the bull. I’ve pulled a geezer named Midnight I’ve ridden at least twice before.
I’m trembling from head to toe because I’ve never done this alone.
I inhale a deep gulp of air, trying to force myself to calm down. Ghost Walker shakes his head.
“Listen, asshole,” I say, “I’ve never claimed to be brave, and you know it’s nothing to do with the ride.”
My throat tightens, and hot tears threaten in the backs of my eyes. For god’s sake, there’s no crying in rodeo. I take another swig of icy water to clear my throat.
I’m not supposed to be this fucked up still. When I promised Walker I would chase the buckle all the way to the NFR in Vegas, I figured I would be ready. Willing. Filled with fire in my gut. I thought I’d be more like Walker and one hundred percent less like me. This was different than the PBR. The PBR was professional. It was a career.
The National Finals Rodeo is one time. One buckle.Thebuckle. All I have to do is keep my shit together long enough to qualify.
If it can’t be me, it has to be you.
Turns out, I’m just a wreck.
“Ready, kid?” Brody walks up, all swagger. He looks right at home here. He and Walker always fit in. I thought I did, too, but today, the rodeo feels mismatched and awkward. My stomach churns, and my mouth waters with the telltale acid of bile. Oh no.
“Your girl’s in the stands. Just saw her and her sister.” He laughs. “That Garrett is hilarious. Reminds me of Walker when he was younger—”
My stomach gives a mighty clench, and then I heave all over the ground at our feet, splattering water and my lunch on my bag.
“Shit!” Brody jumps back. “You okay?”
I moan, swallowing convulsively against another round.
“Shit,” Brody repeats, looking closer at me. He grabs my shoulder with his hand and shakes it a little. I gag, and he jumps back, but I hold it in.
“Are you drunk?” he whisper-shouts. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I drop my head into my hands and consider telling him the truth. I’m not drunk. Outside of parties, I rarely drink. I’m just… fucking sad and scared out of my mind to face this alone.
It has to be you.
But what if I can’t do this?
Brody thinking I’m a fuckup seems easier to take. “I’m sorry. I thought I could do it, but—”
