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“Yes.”
I laugh, but it’s sardonic. “That’s it. You’re done with me? Ten years of taking care of everyone and everything, and now I can just go? You don’t need me, I’m fired?”
“Winnie,” he says irritably. “That’s not what I meant.”
“How did you mean it, then?”
“You’re nineteen.” He gestures to me. “You have a bright future ahead of you. It’s time for you to chase it, and it’s past time for me to take back this family.”
“So that’s it. ‘You’re nineteen, Winnie, get out. Thanks for your help.’”
He sighs. “I’m not saying you have to move out, but that’s not a bad idea. It’s time for you to think about yourself for a while.”
“What about Jesse and Garrett? They need me, Garrett especially. I’m like her mom. I won’t leave her like that.”
My dad sighs heavily, exhaustion weighing down his words. “But you aren’t her mom. It’s not your job to fill that role. It’s time for you to be the big sister. I’m not saying you can’t be there for your siblings. They’ll still want you around, but there must be boundaries.”
I choke on a sputter. “Boundaries? Can you evenhearyourself? I don’t believe this. You, all of a sudden in the eleventh hour, lecturing me about healthy boundaries!”
“Look,” my dad says more firmly. “I’ve given you a lot to think about. That’s all I’m asking right now. You need to think about your career and your dreams and how we’re holding you back from that. I suspect you already know what I’m saying is right.”
“How can I possibly trust you to take care of them?”
He shakes his head, getting up. “Give me the time to prove it.”
“You’ve hadten years.”
He closes his mouth, rounding the table and patting me once on the back. “Good night, Winnie. You did real great out there tonight. I’ve never been prouder.”
He walks to his bedroom, shutting the door and leaving me alone with my thoughts. I slowly turn off all the lights and lock the front door.
Fuck’s sake, who’s gonna close up the house every night if I’m not here?
I check my phone, seeing Case’s made-it-home text, and I walk to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I get to my bed, and on my pillow is a note from Garrett.
You did so well tonight! I love you! Next stop, state!
Love, Garrett
I switch off the light, falling fully clothed into my bed, and cry.
Thirty-OneCASE
I wake up early Sunday morning because I’m used to it. I don’t remember the last time I slept in, but it hasn’t happened since the start of summer. I pull my phone off its wireless charger, noticing Winnie never texted back last night. She must have gone right to bed after I dropped her off.
I allow myself a few minutes of lying there, replaying the highlights from our night together until I’m startled out of bed by the sound of a car door slamming. I walk over to my open window and shove aside the curtain. Speaking of my gorgeous girlfriend, what the heck is she doing here at 7:00 a.m. on her day off?
I quickly throw on a clean shirt and a pair of dirty work jeans I’d flung over my desk chair and hop down the stairs, pulling on my socks. Sunday is Kerry’s day off, too, so I grab a couple of apples off the counter and slip out the front door. The early-morning summer air is humid and comfortable, which will translate to insufferable in a few hours. Winnie’s no longer ather car, but I can hear movement in the stables and head in that direction.
I make my way to the entrance, leaning against the door and placing the apples on a shelf. Winnie marches out of the tack room without noticing me. She looks kind of terrible. Objectively still good because she’s Winnie, but her tangled hair is loose around her shoulders instead of braided and tucked away like usual. Her dark eyes are puffy and red-rimmed. She’s making a sloppy attempt at saddling up her newest trainee, Pistol Annie, rushing through the steps. I gently clear my throat, and she jumps three feet clear into the air.
“Jesus, Case! You scared the shit out of me!”
“Hey,” I say softly. One of the horses nickers. I move to turn on the giant fan because it’s there and I’m here and I’m not sure what else to do with my hands. “Everything okay?”
She seemed okay when I dropped her off. More than, if I’m honest. But what if she’s changed her mind or has some regrets about the things we’ve done? Of course I’d respect that, but the idea it could bring on this reaction feels like acid churning in my stomach.
I’ve never been happier. That she might not feel the same…
