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Damon opens the door, and she shoves the covered lasagna with a towel on the bottom into his hands. “Warm it until we’re ready to eat.”
My dad follows her in with fresh bakery bread in hand, and he and Damon go into the kitchen. My mom rushes over to sit by Heather on the couch, putting hand sanitizer on as if telling Heather my turn. Unable to deal with that, I go into the kitchen.
“We’ve got this. Go enjoy our company.” Damon puts the oven on warm and places the lasagna inside.
“It’s almost her feeding time,” I say, warming a bottle to keep myself out of that room.
I’m not a huge fan of his dad, and now I’ve added his brother to my shit list.
But the bottle doesn’t take long to get ready. I’m still struggling through this breastfeeding thing, but I’m pumping as much as I can and supplementing with formula.
I go into my family room and sit in the chair.
“Bottles?” Heather asks, and I open my mouth, hoping I can answer without animosity.
“Yeah, Adeline works, and I really want to feed the baby too. We decided this is what’s best for us,” Damon says.
I look at him, wondering why he told her that. To protect my feelings?
“Look at Mr. Domestic here. Maybe you can get a pair of fake tits to wear to feed the baby, like in that one movie.” Ollie laughs, and Stanley stares at him as though he’s ready to murder his youngest son.
“I didn’t breastfeed. I had Damon early, he couldn’t attach, and my milk just never came in.” Heather gives me a sympathetic look, as if she knows her son well enough to know he made up an excuse for me and doesn’t want me to feel bad.
“Damon, not knowing what to do with a nipple? He sure made up for lost time with that.” Ollie again can’t read the room because no one laughs at his joke.
“And Ollie was so feisty, I was afraid to let him near my nipple,” Heather says, giving her son a pointed glare.
Damon laughs hysterically and shoves his brother into the wall when he walks by him toward the food.
“So, you’re living here?” Stanley asks Damon.
“Yep,” Damon says, keeping his voice light.
“And the apartment downtown?” His dad arches an eyebrow, and it reminds me of how I’ve seen Damon do the same a time or two.
“I still have it. I’ll have to live there during the season. The commute would kill me.”
I’ve been so occupied with Clover that I haven’t thought that far ahead. In the days since Clover has been home, I’ve only been thinking hour by hour. I haven’t thought about what happens when Damon starts playing again. When he’s traveling to out-of-town games.
I stare at Clover in Heather’s arms, and realization washes over me like a warm shower. I’m basically a single mother. Damon and I aren’t a couple. He’s going to start the season, sleep with women, and go out to clubs. He’ll see Clover on maybe his one day off during the week, and we’re going to coexist as Clover’s parents who are not together.
These past few months are not our reality. We’ve been in our own little bubble, and I’ve grown way too used to Damon being here with me, forgetting that in a couple of months, it will all be on me.
Every one of those insecurities I had when I first found out I was pregnant flood back. Only this time, I know what I’ll be missing.
Chapter17
Damon
Training Camp - two months later
“Ican’t believe you didn’t bring your game console. You always bring it. What the hell?” Cooper pouts in the chair next to me in the lounge after another long day of training camp.
“I came straight from Adeline’s house.” I shrug.
That might not have been my wisest decision, but I just couldn’t leave them. Even now, I’ve been here for two weeks, and I’m desperate to hold Clover again. But I keep that fact to myself, not wanting to give the guys anything to bust my balls about.
“Last I checked, either of you two could go out and buy another one,” Miles says, lowering his reading glasses as if he’s schooling us.
