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“Good.” He nods. “There’s something else in the box.”
I dig past another layer of tissue paper and find a onesie with twenty-three and SISKA on the back.
“For whenever we feel comfortable with her coming to the games.”
Who knows? If she keeps being that happy little girl, maybe I’ll get her a set of headphones and bring her with me.
The waitress comes over, and Damon orders us an expensive bottle of wine. Once we’ve looked over the menu and ordered, sipping our wine after it’s been delivered, Damon fidgets in his seat.
We chat for a bit about nothing of consequence until his obvious nerves make me anxious, so I finally ask, “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He raises his wineglass as though he wants to give a toast, so I raise mine as well. “I just really wanted to thank you for moving down here during the season. These past few months have been so great for me, having Clover here every morning and most nights. I know the commute for you is hellish, so I wanted to take you to dinner to show you how much I appreciate it, appreciate you. I know if you hadn’t agreed to move down here, I wouldn’t have the bond I have with her today.” He clinks his glass with mine, then sips from it.
I sip mine and slowly lower my glass to the table.
There has to be more, but he’s no longer fidgeting. In fact, he seems much more relaxed. As if he can enjoy himself now that he’s got that off his chest.
“Sorry if I seemed weird. I just hate talking about feelings. I wanted it to come out right.” He sips his wine again, smiling wide, the perfect portrait of relaxed elegance.
I sit there, unsure what to do. I’d been hoping for a declaration of his feelings for me, but he’s arranged this entire night to essentially thank me for living in his apartment rent-free and letting him fuck me every day. He’s thanking me for being a full-service co-parent with perks and allowing him to be around his baby girl all the time.
“That’s it?” I ask, my eyes on the fancy tablecloth.
“What?” he asks.
My gaze floats up to his. “That’s it? That’s what tonight is about? You thanking me for commuting to work so you can see your daughter whenever you’re home? How about thanking me for the free pussy, why stop at just the commute?”
“Adeline…” He glances around.
“God, when will my gut steer me right? You’re stillthatDamon.”
“That Damon?” He sits up straighter and looks around again because I’m probably causing a scene, but I don’t really care.
“The guy who would bring me to dinner but think about fucking the hostess.”
He glances back toward the front of the restaurant. “I don’t wanna fuck her.”
Tears well up in my eyes, but there’s zero chance I’m going to let him see them. “Do you really not feel it? Or are you just ignoring it? Are you that afraid of commitment?”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” He reaches over to grab my hand, but I pull it away, fisting my hands in my lap.
“I love you,” I say. “Do you really not know that?”
The color drains from his face. “Adeline… we’re having fun. We agreed that it was just sex, that it didn’t mean anything.” He lowers his voice and leans over the table.
“Yeah, I did agree to that like an idiot, because if I’m honest with myself, I was probably already falling in love with you before I ever slept with you that night.”
He shakes his head, panic lacing his features. “No. We’re doing this for Clover. Co-parenting better than anyone we know. This was never about love or commitment. My only commitment is to Clover.”
I shut my eyes, and the tears spill down. I nod and open them, meeting his horrified gaze. “And I’m thankful you’re so committed to our daughter, but it turns out I’m just a fool. Have a fun lonely life, Damon.” I get up from the chair, tossing the napkin on the table. He stands, but I put my hand on his chest. “Don’t worry, I’ll never keep Clover from you. You’re a wonderful father, but I can see now that you’re never going to be a wonderful partner. I can’t play the game anymore. Goodbye, Damon.”
“What? I don’t understand,” he whisper-shouts.
I turn back to him. He’s so devastatingly handsome my heart splits wide open. “And that’s the problem.”
I wind through the tables and out of the restaurant, jogging a block with tears streaming down my face before I catch a cab back to our… er… his apartment.
Chapter26
