AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“It’s a slippery slope,” Cooper says. “We came too late.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I scowl at them both.
Cooper covers Clover’s ears. “Hey now, no using that language around my goddaughter.”
I roll my eyes again. “What do you want me to say? That I love Adeline? I’m incapable of that emotion.”
“Bullshit. You love Adeline,” Miles says.
“I love that little girl.” I point at Clover. “Sure, I cared for Adeline. We had a lot of fun, and I never would’ve thought we’d mesh that well together. She’s awesome, and I’m glad she’s Clover’s mom, but I’m not husband material.”
“Why?” Cooper asks. He’s rarely the serious one, that’s Miles’s role in this friend group, so I’m thrown for a second.
“Why what?”
“Why aren’t you husband material? Because you fucked a bunch of jersey chasers and earned a reputation? Hello, you’re not alone in that. There’s something you haven’t told us, something that has you giving up everything that matters in your life.” Cooper puts a block toy in front of Clover, and she stares at him like “who are you?” “I’m your godfather,” he says as if Clover knows the word.
“There’s nothing you don’t know,” I lie because I’m not going to get into the whole Greta thing right now. Even if they knew, it wouldn’t change how I feel.
“Everyone can change,” Miles says. “Look at Lee.”
“Lee was always big on relationships. I’m the one who fucked it up for him with Shayna in college.”
Miles looks up as if he doesn’t remember, then nods, remembering that it was my fault. See? I don’t only ruin my own relationships, I ruin other people’s too. I’m one helluva guy.
“Okay, then, I’m arguing that it was obvious you loved her by the way you looked at her. There was love there,” Cooper says. “And it’s different than when you look at this little one. You wanted Adeline to be yours. You enjoyed your little family of three, and you loved it when she felt like yours even if you guys didn’t put a label on it. Until you did that whole restaurant stunt.”
I stand up, my frustration boiling over. “I fucking took her to thank her! I didn’t know she’d fallen in love with me.”
“Then you’re fucking blind!” Miles says, standing up too. “You know what I think? I think Peter Pan doesn’t want to fucking grow up. You’re not just messing your life up now, Damon.” He points at Clover. “Look at her. She doesn’t know it now, but what’s going to happen in five, ten, hell, twenty years from now when she grows up and realizes that her dad can’t be intimate with anyone? And to be clear, when I use the word intimate, I’m not talking about sex.”
I hold up my hand. “Okay, I get that you’re smarter than me, but I’m not a fucking dumbass. I knew what you meant by intimate.”
“You didn’t know that Adeline was in love with you. How did we all fucking know, but you didn’t?”
Cooper covers Clover’s ears again. “Hello, language. We don’t want her first word to be the f-word.”
“I’m not sure what you want from me?” I throw my arms in the air.
“I want you to look inside and figure out where the block is and do some work on it. Because this guy, this Damon Siska, he’s not anyone I would want to know. You were the best version of yourself when you were with Adeline. Your daughter deserves that.Youdeserve that. Life is hard enough, but to purposely deny yourself happiness… I don’t get it.” Miles shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t be here anymore. Ruin your fucking life for all I care.”
“Again, language!” Cooper says.
“Fuck off, Coop!” Miles shouts at him.
The door slams, and Clover’s bottom lip quivers before she cries.
“Damn him.” I pick her up. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”
Cooper stands. “This was all really enlightening. You know he’s only pissed because it’s hard to see someone throw away their happiness. He fought really hard to get Bryce, and she did a lot of healing to meet him halfway.” When I don’t say anything, he goes on. “Just so I know, your goal in life is to die alone?”
I still don’t say anything.
“Cool, then. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to console my goddaughter.”
“Fuck you, Coop.”
“Talk some sense into your daddy. No one wants to die alone.” He runs his hand on her back since she’s still upset. “I’m out.”
