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“You’re not hurting me, you’re being honest with me. I appreciate that. But I want you to know, I’m not giving up, Maverick. If I have to love enough for both of us, I will. I’ll admit, someday I want to hear you say you love me, but if you can’t, then I guess—” My voice cracked, and I tried to finish without bursting into tears. “Then I guess seeing it in your eyes and feeling it in your touch will have to be enough.”
He frowned. “I’d never do that to you.”
“What will you do instead? Break up with me? Because I’m pretty sure that would destroy both of us. For a couple of hours today, I thought I might lose you, Maverick. So if you don’t like hearing me say that I love you, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to get used to it. Because I plan on telling you every single day for the rest of my life.”
He reached up and put his hand on the side of my face, and I leaned into it.
Then he said the words I’d longed to hear. “I love you, too, Lily.”
Chapter Nineteen
MAVERICK
Lily stared at me with a stunned expression on her face. I could tell she was processing those words, and a part of me was also processing the fact I’d said them.
But after everything that happened today, I needed to be honest with Lily and with myself.
Lily leaned into my hand, and I used the pad of my thumb to wipe away her tears. My throat felt raw, and my voice sounded like I’d been screaming at a concert.
“I have loved you since the first moment I saw you come bouncing out to the barn, back when you were home on college break. I can still remember what you were wearing. A blue long-sleeve shirt that said ‘be kind’ on it, jeans, and those bright-ass red riding boots. You had a Shaw Ranch baseball cap on your head with your ponytail pulled through the back. When you got closer, the first thing I noticed was the color of your eyes. They sparkled and reminded me of dark honey. The way the sun caught your eyes was mesmerizing. I heard your mothersay once that they reminded her of a pot of melted gold that shimmered in the sunlight.”
“You remember what I was wearing the first time we met?”
Smiling, I nodded. “Every time you’ve ever looked at me and smiled, I cataloged that moment away in my mind.”
Her hand covered mine on her cheek. “Maverick…I’m so sorry it took me so long to see what you saw.”
I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head before focusing on her. “I won’t lie to you, Lil. I’m still scared. My entire life, I’ve never had anyone else to rely on. It’s always been me. So when you came into my life, and I started to develop these feelings, I wasn’t really sure what to do with them. My first instinct was to push them away. Then we got closer, and I tried to tell myself I’d be okay if things didn’t work out. Now I know better…because I want a future with you too.”
Frowning, I dropped my hand away from her, and instantly missed the warmth of her skin. “Thereissomething else, though. In our future, I see kids.”
“That’s a bad thing?” she softly asked.
“No, not at all. I want to be a father. But I’m not sure how to be agoodfather. I’ve never had that experience myself, so how do I know I can do it?”
She drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I know without a doubt in my mind that you will be a wonderful father. And youdohave a role model now. Hell, you have a number of them. My father, my uncles…Blayze and Ryan. Hunter.”
“Thatisa lot.”
I let out a soft laugh. “Mav, my father already told you he thinks of you as a son. He was so scared today. You didn’t see it, but I did. And you saw his tears in this room. He loves you, and my mother loves you. All you have to do is let down one wall ata time, and trust in that love. And trust that the people surrounding you will always be there if you give them that chance.”
“I want to knock down the walls, I do. I’m just…”
Her finger came up and pressed against my lips. “I get it, you don’t have to say anything else. Thank you for telling me you love me, and for being honest about your fears. I’m not going to say I understand, because I don’t. What Iwillsay, though, is that I promise to cherish your heart for always, and I will never, ever leave you.”
“I don’t deserve you, Lily.”
“You do. Just like I deserve you.”
Lacing her fingers in my hand, she brought it up and gently kissed the back. “If I could crawl into this bed with you, I would, but I can’t, so I’m going to go back to my little makeshift bed because we both need to get some sleep.”
She stood, leaned over, and kissed me tenderly on the lips. When she would have straightened, I reached up and pulled her back down to my mouth, deepening the kiss. When she pulled back and smiled, I whispered, “I love you, Lily Hope Shaw. More than all the stars in the universe.”
Her eyes sparkled as she rested her forehead on mine. “Those are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard. I love you, too, Maverick. More than you’ll ever know.”
I stood in the middle of the corral while Tesoro got a few morning kicks out of the way before she settled down and made her way over to me. She nudged me with her head, bringing out a laugh from me and Lily, who was currently sitting on top of Juniper.
“I’d say she’s come a long way over the last few months.”
