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“I like it a lot,” I say. “It’s empowering and sends a good message.”
Director Ryu nods. “I wanted each member to stand out as an individual, so my team and I asked the girls about their interests sothat we could build each of their stories, whether they’re sporty or fun-loving or have a 4D personality. We want to be as authentic to their natures as possible. When you enjoy what you’re doing, the joy is expressed in the music and the performances. Woo Hyemi hasn’t yet expressed what aspects of her personality or interests she’d like to focus on, so if you could help her with discovering that, it would be helpful. Right now, she’s unique in that she’s the youngest; the maknae of a group is always treasured by the fandom.”
“I’ll speak more with Hyemi,” I say and put it on my mental list that I’d drawn up that morning.
“Hyemi’s talented, but she’s also new to this world. The four girls from Dream Music have been working toward this dream for two years, and Sun Ye for even longer. It’s not just that Hyemi needs to learn the choreography, but does she have the stamina to endure the long hours of practice? Does she have the mental fortitude? Our standards are exacting but necessary for a reason. We want to ensure these girls have not only a successful career but also a healthy one, a long one. You have a short time to determine whether she’s ready to walk that difficult path.”
My mother interrupts. “We have a meeting with the director of the music video. Will you excuse us, Sori?”
As they leave the room, I realize my mother and I haven’t yet scheduled our lunch together. She’ll only get busier and busier, so I need to schedule it now. I follow my mother and Director Ryu out of the room. They’re not immediately outside the door, so I head toward the hallway.
“Min Hee-yah.” I’m stopped by the sound of Director Ryu’s voice. “You need to rest.”
“I can’t stop now.” They’re standing in the hall, speaking low so that their voices don’t carry. “Not when everything’s on the line. The overseas investors are close to signing deals with Joah. Once CEO Woo signs through his investment, I can finally breathe—”
“Why don’t you ask Assemblyman Min for his shares of the company? He owes you that, for what you’ve endured from thatawfulfamily. And for raising Sori so well. You’ve done a wonderful job with her.”
“It’s impossible,” my mother says, mumbling words that I don’t catch.
As the lead investor in Joah when my mother first started the company, my father owns the majority of its shares. My mother would have otherwise divorced my father years ago. But in the eyes of the public, he’s a family man with a loving wife and daughter—a divorce would irrevocably damage that image. Those shares are the only thing keeping it from falling apart.
“Sori? What are you doing here?”
I startle. Director Ryu stands in the doorway, alone.
“I was looking for my mother. I wanted to ask her...” The reason why I was searching for my mother seems so small compared to the innumerable important responsibilities taking up her time. “To lunch.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. She already left for her meeting. I decided to stay back and speak with the choreographer. Maybe you can call her?” It seems a reasonable enough suggestion, except that my mother and I don’t contact each other except through Secretary Park.
“Is the company really in that much trouble?” I ask, hating how small my voice sounds.
Director Ryu’s expression turns thoughtful. “Did you know I’ve known your mother for almost twenty years now? Ever since she was an idol and I was a production assistant. When her dream of being an idol ended prematurely, Joah became her new dream. And I’m so proud of her for making it a reality. She’s worked so hard.
“Your motherwas the inspiration for ASAP’s debut concept. I’ll never tell her that. She’d be horrified if she knew. A young woman breaking into an industry where most, if not all, of the top CEOs are men? She inspires a lot of young women; she inspires me.”
“And me,” I whisper. Even if work has called her away more in the past years, and we haven’t spent as much time together, I’ve always been proud my mother is Seo Min Hee.
“Regardless of whether Joah is facing difficulties at the moment, it’s not something you need to concern yourself with. You’re young. Let the adults do all the worrying.”
Director Ryu doesn’t know me well enough to know Ican’t helpworrying.
“I’ll admit, when I got the list of ASAP members, I was surprised when I saw your name wasn’t on it. That is, until your mother told me about your decision. I’m proud of you, Sori. Not every person who’s chosen a career path can make it to the end, but it’s just as difficult tochangeyour path once you’ve decided it’s not for you anymore.”
I nod at Director Ryu’s words, but I’m not really listening. So much is depending on Hyemi’s successful debut and her father’s resulting investment. I can’t fulfill my mother’s dream of being an idol, the one she gave up for me, but I can protect her dream of Joah.
When we return to the room, the members have split up to continue with their one-on-one training, a few leaving to work with the vocal coach, while others stay behind to practice in front of the mirror. I make Hyemi run through the entirety of the choreography. Then I ask her to do it again. And again. I change into sweats and dance the other members’ parts, so that she knows where’s she’s supposed to be positioned at all times.
We continue practicing long after the others have left. And it’s not until the maintenance workers shut off the studio lights that I realize I’ve kept her longer than I should have.
“I’m sorry, Hyemi-yah. I’ve pushed you hard today, haven’t I?”
“No, Seonbae.” She shakes her head, her brow glistening with sweat. “I’m so grateful for you. I want to work hard. After all, this is my dream.”
I’m feeling the heaviness and exhaustion of the day on the long bus ride home. It doesn’t diminish, not until I spot Nathaniel waiting for me at the same table outside the convenience store. I join him, and together, we walk up the hill toward home.
Nineteen
I’m still thinking about my mom and Hyemi the next day as I head over to the gym for a morning workout. I’ll make good on my promise to ensure Hyemi is ready in time to debut, but there must be more that I can do. I could intercede with my father about the shares. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. He won’t relinquish them freely, but maybe, like with my mother, I could strike a deal with him.
