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She smiled and reached for my hand, holding it tightly as she looked directly into my eyes. “If you love someone, don’t ever be afraid to show it. Shout it to the world if that’s what you want to do. Life is fleeting, Ellison. True love is rare, so if you find it, you hold on to it so tightly and never let anything or anyone get in the way.”
True love. That was what I always felt Jamie and I had. “So you think I should talk to him about it?” I asked, unsure how this conversation even got started, it had escalated so quickly.
She nodded. “I followed my heart and I never regretted it, not for one single day. That’s all I want for you, too. I just want you to find someone who makes you feel that kind of heart-stopping, epic love, even when he hasn’t shaved or leaves the toilet seat up or can’t manage to put the milk carton away after using it. All of those things, they don’t even matter, because once you’ve fallen for someone, you love the person within unconditionally. Flaws and all.”
She was right, I knew she was right. Jamie was the other piece of my puzzle, just as my dad had been hers. “But what if he doesn’t feel the same? What if he hurts me again?” I said the words before I’d thought them through.
Mom smiled sadly and patted the back of my hand. “That could happen, but if you don’t try you’ll never know what you could be missing out on. If you love him, Ellison, you need to be brave enough to give him that chance.”
Again, I knew she was right. She’d spoken nothing but the truth, and it echoed my feelings of the last day or so, too. The trouble was, this situation was more complicated than I could ever explain to her. Jamie’s flaws I could live with, but his new-found career as some sort of local gangster was a different story. I wasn’t sure I could be with him, always wondering if he was going to be taken away from me because of his job. I didn’t want to forever have that fear hanging over my head. It would eventually drive me crazy, I knew it would. It would be something we would need to talk about before we could even think about moving forward—if he even wanted to move forward from here, that was. He’d been willing and eager to get out of that lifestyle once; maybe he would want to again. Like my mother said, I just needed to be brave enough to open up the conversation and see where it led.
I sighed. “You’re right. I need to talk to him,” I agreed. “When did you get so wise?”
“Must have been the bump to the head,” she joked, reaching up and touching the healing scar above her right ear. “Whatever you choose, I’ll always support you. I’m just sorry it’s taken me all this time to see things clearly.”
I leaned in and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly, some of the tension leaving my shoulders. I hadn’t realized what a weight I’d been carrying around with me, and how much I had desperately needed to talk it through with someone. She was right, I owed it to our memory to be brave enough to give him that chance.
Mom hugged me back, her arms tight around me as her breath fanned down my neck and I felt her tears wet my shoulder. “Seriously, though, talk to him soon. Don’t waste a single moment. Enjoy every precious second of your life and make it count, because you never know when it could all be ripped away from you.”
I pulled back and planted a kiss on her cheek as a rush of adoration for her washed over me. I’d never had this kind of conversation with her before, and her baring her soul about my father made me see a completely different side of her than I’d seen growing up. “I love you,” I said softly, meaning every word. It was probably the first time I’d outright said that to my mother, but somehow it just felt right confessing it now.
Her lips pulled up into a grin as she reached out and stroked the side of my face. “I love you too, and I’m sorry I never told you enough. From now on, that’ll change. I’ll change. And I’ll always support you in everything you do. I’m so proud of you, Ellison, and the beautiful young lady you’ve become. You remind me of your father in so many ways.” She sniffed and her smile grew. “And I’m secretly over the moon that you’re staying.”
“Me, too,” I admitted, hugging her again.
CHAPTER 24
JAMIE
WHEN I PULLED up outside Ellie’s house on Saturday, it was almost midnight. Someone was still up, though. I could see the hazy glow of the TV flickering through the drapes. I wondered if it was Ellie who was awake and what she might be watching.
I hadn’t seen her for a couple of days, not since I’d told her the truth about what happened on that day we broke up. I’d been trying to keep my distance, give her some space. I figured she’d need it after I dropped that bomb on her. I’d been hoping she’d call, but nothing so far.
The car in front of me started up, and Spencer, the one I’d had guarding her for me this evening, waved his hand in acknowledgment and then took off down the street, leaving me to take the next watch. He’d been doing a lot of the shifts for me; he was one of my most reliable workers and I knew he would take the job seriously. Between him, Ed, Enzo, Dodger, and me we managed around-the-clock surveillance on her. Not that she ever really went anywhere other than the hospital, the grocery store, or Stacey’s apartment. The last two days I’d left her safety in the hands of the other three while I’d occupied my time with trying to find Mateo. So far, my search had been futile. He was nowhere to be seen; he’d vanished into the night like a ghost.
While I was watching the house, I noticed a twitch to the drapes, light beaming out for a split second as someone looked out, and then it was gone. Reaching into my glove box, I pulled out my iPod, just about to stuff one of the earbuds into my ear when the front door opened. Ellie stepped out and turned to quietly close the door behind her.
I frowned, tossing my iPod to the seat and climbing out of the car, wondering if something was wrong for her to suddenly appear like this. As she made her way across the yard in a tight pink tank top that showed off all her delicious curves and a pair of short shorts emblazoned with Miss Piggy that ended just barely an inch below her bottom, I couldn’t stop my eyes from roaming her body. My teeth sank into my lip as my gaze trailed over her breasts and thighs, imagining how her smooth skin would feel under my fingertips. She was amazing, even with her hair whipping across her face from the breeze.
Her eyes dropped to the ground as a small smile twitched at the corners of her lips. Maybe she liked the fact that she still drove me wild. Maybe she came out here wearing that tiny, sexy outfit just to show me what I was missing. As quickly as the thought came I dismissed it. She hadn’t known I was coming here tonight. These were simply her pajamas, which just happened to be the hottest things I had seen in a long damn time.
“Hey,” she muttered, wrapping her arms around her body and rubbing herself for warmth.
I cleared my throat, hoping my voice wouldn’t betray my desire as I immediately unzipped my jacket, shrugging it off. “Hey, you shouldn’t come out here with no jacket. You’ll catch pneumonia or something,” I scolded, reaching out and draping my jacket around her shoulders.
She smiled gratefully and pulled it closed around her, hunching her shoulders inside it. “Thanks.” She nodded back toward the house. “I j
ust wanted to see if you wanted to come in and have a drink or something. I can make you some food if you’re hungry.”
“Um...yeah, sure,” I replied, unsure what this was really about. As soon as I answered, she turned and marched off toward the house, and my eyes instinctively dropped to her legs peeking out the bottom of my jacket. I’d never be able to wear it again without thinking of them, I was sure of it.
I followed, pressing the button to lock my car as I stepped into the house behind her. I stopped, a blast of memories hitting me at once. I hadn’t been here for a long time, but the place looked just like I remembered. Ellie kicked off her shoes and I did the same, watching as she hung my jacket up on one of the coat hooks mounted on the wall.
My eyes landed on the family photo that sat on the sideboard, and a pang of sorrow hit me when I looked at her smiling father. “This place hasn’t changed,” I commented, unsure what else to say as I followed her through the living room. My eyes landed on the couch and I stopped, setting a hand on the back of it. Just the feel of it under my palm made my pulse quicken. I raised one eyebrow and smirked at her. “I definitely remember this couch.” The suggestion in my voice was evident. We’d had many a cuddle session that turned into a lot more on that sofa on a Saturday morning when everyone else went to visit her nana.
Her cheeks turned pink as her teeth nibbled on her bottom lip. “Yeah, it’s a very good couch.”
I couldn’t contain my smug grin. Her eyes bored into mine as memories of dirty things I’d done to her on this couch surfaced in my mind. I wanted her so much, the intense desire was almost painful. She gulped and then shook her head a little as if to clear it.
“Do you want coffee or a soda or something else?” she offered. Her voice betrayed a slight tremor, so I knew she was probably having the same filthy flashbacks as I was.
I grinned. “Coffee is good, thanks.”
She nodded, immediately turning for the kitchen, her ass wiggling in such a delectable way that it made my dick twitch. I bit back a moan.
“Is your mom still doing okay?” I asked, wanting to change the subject and clear my lust-filled mind as I trailed behind her into the kitchen and sank into one of the dining chairs.
She went straight for the kettle, boiling water. “She’s good, getting better every day.”
“I’m glad. I can’t imagine how stressful that was for you, waiting for her to wake up.”
