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I got a note under my pillow where she said how proudshe is of me, and I swear I’ve spotted her around King Citymultiple times. But other than that . . .
“No, have you?”
She mindlessly pushes around the leftover spaghetti on her plate. “No. But I thought I saw her in a black SUV leaving the street when we pulled in today after school. Chris was driving and said he didn’t notice anything, but . . .” She gives a sad laugh. “Never mind. I must be missing her, so I’m imagining seeing her.”
Despite all the horrible things Florence has done to us, despite abandoning us years ago and never looking back, Gia still sees only the good in her, still yearns for a relationship. It’s pointless. Florence is a selfish woman who couldn’t care less about us, but no matter how many times I remind Gia of that, she still hopes. Maybe it’s because we’re getting along, or maybe it’s because I don’t want to keep being the bad guy and burst her bubble, but I admit, “When we first got here, I thought I saw her a few times.”
Gia perks up. “Really?”
I nod. “It obviously wasn’t her; my mind was playing tricks on me. Maybe because we just moved here and I was still settling in after everything that happened, and she grew up here, it was too easy to imagine seeing her.”
I place my hand over Gia’s in solidarity. “But it’s not her, Gia, and she’s not going to come back and check up on us. She doesn’t miss us.”
Gia frowns, mumbling, “I still miss her.”
It hurts because I know there’s nothing I can do to help her. Florence doesn’t care, and that’s not going to change no matter how much we want it to. We’re going to have to get used to the fact that we have two shitty parents who act like they never wanted us to begin with, never mind to have real relationships with us now.
The rest of dinner and cleanup is quiet, Gia and I both lost in our thoughts until Brianna’s mom picks her up. I go outside to say hello, and she’s a lovely woman. Based on the brief interaction, it’s hard to reconcile the polite woman in the Lexus with Brandon.
Since Jason is making money racing at the Tracks tonight, I spend my evening in my room trying various four-number codes to break into Brandon’s phone. I’ve learned that I get ten attempts before it locks me out for an hour, and so far there’s been no threat of destroying the data, so I keep using my ten attempts every hour or so, and I’ll keep doing that until I get in.
Between waiting, I try to figure out the math homework and trade texts with Nyah. We’ve been slowly but surely getting closer, and it’s nice to have a friend. She doesn’t judge me when I get bored and ask her stupid questions likeWhat color notebook do you think math is? Blue or red?
OrHow many bananas do you think is a dangerous amountto consume in a day due to the whole “there’s cyanide in them”
thing?And I look forward to the random horoscope predictions she sends me throughout the week even though I don’t put too much stock in zodiac divinations.
Just as I high-five myself for figuring out a particularly hard question, my phone rings.
“So, I’ve been thinking,” Nyah greets me without any preamble when I answer.
“Hello to you too.” I laugh.
“You and Jason need to go on a double date with me and Tyler. We just came home from a date, and while I love going out with him, obviously, it would be so much fun going out with another couple! We can play mini golf! Or go bowling! Or is that too cliché? What am I saying? Jason’s literallydrag racingright now, of course that’s too cliché.”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” I say, amused at her enthusiasm, even if it is a bit misplaced. “Jason and I aren’t even dating. I mean, I don’t think—”
There’s a gasping laugh on the other end of the line.
“Are you kidding me? You’re kidding, right?”
“Well, I—”
“Siena, the boy would literally break a dude’s arm for looking at you the wrong way. You’re dating.”
I tell the butterflies in my stomach that she’s exaggerating. Probably.
“I don’t know,” I say, leaning back in my desk chair.
“We’ve never talked about it. But I really like him, more than I’ve ever liked anyone before.”
“Ooh.” Her tone is light and teasing as she singsongs,
“I think you’re in looooove.”
Love?Do I love Jason? I haven’t known him very long, so I don’t think I’msupposedto be in love with him, even though there’s no one else who gets me the way he does, no one else who makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay, orbetterthan okay. Everything’sperfectwhen I’m with Jason. Almost embarrassed, I choke out, “What?
No.”
