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He’s right in front of me now, and I have nowhere else to go. My back is up against the literal brick wall, and he grabs my biceps, squeezing hard enough to bruise.
“Just tell me what you know!” he shouts in my face, finally cracking. “Just fuckingtell me! I know you’re hiding something! What are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything,” I cry, tilting my face as far away from him as I can. His fingers dig into my skin, and he smells like sweat. My back hurts from where he holds me against the wall, and I try to push off it only to be harshly forced back against it.
“I know you are! Tell me what you know!”
I’ve never hated him as much as I do at this moment.
Despite being scared and hurt and knowing I’m pushing it, spite leads me to exclaim, “The only thing I know is that you’re a power-abusing asshole who doesn’t deserve your badge!”
He pushes off me, and I hate that I flinch. My arms and back are sore, but I force myself not to show weakness, instead standing straight and looking right up at him.
He’s not intimidated or threatened by me at all. If anything, my defiance makes him angrier. Slightly more composed, he straightens out his uniform jacket and sneers, “I will get answers about my daughter, and I don’t care how I have to get them.”
A door opens, and footsteps rapidly approach us.
Officer Liu and I don’t look away to check who it is.
“Is there a problem here?” Jason asks, stopping beside me, andfuckam I relieved to see him. He’s solid and reassuring, and I could kiss him for the daringly insolent way he’s squaring off against Officer Liu, completely unafraid. It’s tensely quiet except for the hum of Jason’s still-running engine and the traffic in the distance. His car is parked in front of Officer Liu’s squad car with the driver’s door flung open, like he saw the scene and abandoned everything in order to get here fast enough.
Jason’s eyes shift to meet mine quickly, a silent check that I’m okay, and I grab his hand in response, squeezing tight. His quiet confidence and unwavering loyalty make my chest tighten, but last time we found ourselves in this predicament, he got arrested, and as pissed as I am, I don’t want a repeat.
“There might be, Parker,” Officer Liu replies. “Heard there’s a drag race going on tonight. Maybe I’ll show up . . . in uniform.”
Jason grits his teeth. The comment is especially malicious since he was tailed yesterday while trying to go to the Tracks and wrongfully given a speeding ticket on the way home. I don’t know if there was something planned for tonight, but there’s no way Jason or anyone will be going if Officer Liu somehow knows about it.
Thunder rumbles as the sky quickly darkens, and a few people exit the restaurant we’re standing in front of.
Officer Liu takes a step back, breaking the tension and nodding at the family like a friendly neighborhood cop. I use the distraction to pull Jason toward his car.
It’s not really a satisfying retreat, because he knows exactly where I live and has power over us because of his job, so I’m not really getting the upper hand. But I’m tired, upset, and sore, and I just want to lie in bed with my face pressed into Jason’s chest and forget today ever happened, so I’ll take it.
Jason doesn’t look away from Officer Liu once as he allows me to guide him to the car. The muscles in his arm and back are clearly taut through his fitted sweater, but his grasp on my hand is gentle and comforting.
I open the passenger door and spare one last glance at Officer Liu. He looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks, maybe months. His hair is getting shaggy and is streaked with gray, and his uniform is wrinkled. I don’t think he’s legally allowed to be working on his daughter’s case because of how close he is to it, but I know he is—both on and off duty. He’s gone rogue and abused his power multiple times, and I’ll never know if he’s always been a terrible cop or if it was just triggered by Lily’s disappearance. But despite all that, he’s a father mourning his daughter. And maybe seeing my own mother has made me emotional, because I feel like I can relate to him, and I feelsorryfor him. I shouldn’t after the way he pinned me to the wall and bruised my arms, but I do, and after this entire day I just don’t have the energy to be angry anymore.
“Like I’ve told you many, many times, I don’t know what happened to Lily,” I tell him softly, speaking from the part of my heart that sympathizes with him. “But she was nice to me and went out of her way to be my friend despite not knowing me, and she was kind to my sister when she moved here alone and didn’t know anyone. I hope she’s okay, and I want to know what’s happened to her just as badly as you do, not because then you’ll finally leave me alone but because Icare. I’mtryingto find her, and if you put aside whatever grudge you have against me or my past or my mother, you’d see that. We could’ve helped each other, but it’s not too late.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I’m unsure if anything I said got through to him. More thunder rumbles, and Jason holds the door open wider for me, a silent signal to get in so we can get the hell out of here.
I don’t know what response I’m hoping for, but I give up waiting, sliding into the warm leather seat.
Just before Jason closes the door, Officer Liu calls out,
“Siena!”
I pause, holding my breath, hoping against all odds that what I said resonated with him, that maybe he’ll finally realize we’re on the same team here. But then he continues, and that hope shatters.
“I’ll find out what you’re hiding; I’ll find my Lily.
And Jason, you better watch your driving. You have a heavy foot, and it doesn’t take much to be charged for reckless driving . . .”
Jason’s hand on the door clenches before Officer Liu gives him a mocking salute and strolls to his own car.
They don’t drop their gazes the entire time, even when Officer Liu is in his car in front of us and buckles in. I don’t realize how tense I am until Officer Liu drives off, veering around Jason’s car through empty parking spots and passing us to turn onto the main road.
Jason ducks his head in to look at me. “You okay?”
