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And if that happens, I can’t protect Gia if people start digging.
I can’t give in to Brandon. If I let him see how much I don’t want that picture to circulate, how everything would crumble around me if people knew about what happened, he wouldn’t hesitate to continue asking for more and more ludicrous things that I don’t want to do.
I’d be indebted to him forever, stuck doing his bidding while always fearing he’ll drop that grenade if I don’t fulfill one of his requests, and I justknowI’m going to hate every last one of them.
So, putting to use every acting skill and technique picked up from Mom over the years, I compose myself, projecting an image of cool disinterest. With an arched eyebrow and an even tone that surprises even me, I bluff,
“So? Send it out. I don’t care.”
He snickers haughtily, not buying it for a second.
“You do care. You care so much I can see the panic in your eyes.” He stalks closer to me as he speaks, and my breath stalls. “You think you’re a social pariah now? Wait until everyone finds out you killed a dude. And maybe I’ll tell everyone you attacked me at the hotel too.”
I open my mouth to interject, but Brandon cuts me off. “I know what you’re going to say, and no, it doesn’t matter if all the witness statements discredit me. It’s not going to the police to be fact-checked; it’s sitting right here to feed the rumor mill. And you know as well as I do what happens once the school gets some juicy gossip.
In fact, maybe Officer Liu won’t be the only person who thinks you had something to do with Lily’s disappearance. Youdidcome to town right before she disappeared, youareher neighbor, and youhavekilled before. All it would take is a couple of good whispers and this picture circulating, and you’llalwaysbe known as the girl who killed Lily, even if you’re innocent. Five, ten, thirty years from now, people will look in their yearbook, point at your picture, and say, ‘Siena Amato; that’s the girl who killed my classmate Lily Liu and got away with it.’”
“You bastard,” I hiss as his words replay in my mind, competing for the thing I feel most outraged by.
Everything he said pisses me off, not only because of what he said but because he’sright. Once people have proof of what happened with Stan, it doesn’t matter that it was self-defense, doesn’t matter that I was acquitted. It’s all they’ll talk about and all I’ll be known for. And once people start whispering about my connection with Lily, it’s game over. It doesn’t matter if people have all the facts or not. I’ll be labeled a murderer for the rest of my life. It won’t end after graduation; it’ll follow me forever. People will post on social media, on celebrity or conspiracy forums. If a college searches my name, all of it will come up. If a job interviewer does, they’ll know everything.
But how dare Brandon accusemeof doing something to Lily when I’m so positivehe’sthe one who’s involved somehow? And why did he saykilledLily? There’s no body; she could still be out there somewhere! But he’s so sure that she’s dead. He knows something; he must have been involved somehow to say that so confidently.
And not only that, but he brought up Officer Liu.
How does he know Officer Liu? How does he know Officer Liu is convinced I had something to do with his daughter’s disappearance? Brandon said it so casually too, like he didn’t even realize he’d mentioned his name. Is Officer Liu the one who gave Brandon that picture of my file? Officer Liu couldn’t have been the one to take the photo—I was no one to him before I moved here—but he did tell me once he had connections with the LAPD.
Is it possible he talked to the right people and somehow found the person who took this picture? And then he gave it to Brandon? But why?
“Maybe, but at least I’m not a thief or a killer,”
Brandon spits, his voice laced with venom as he gives a disbelieving laugh. “And you thoughtyouwere too good forme, turning me down after teasing me for weeks.
You’re nothing but a murderouswhore.”
It takes everything in me not to knee Brandon in the balls right now, and that’s only because there’s some part of my brain telling me that will only make things worse.
But my heart rages in my chest, and I try and fail to do Anusha’s breathing techniques to calm down enough to speak.
“What do you want from me, Brandon?” I manage to spit out.
“I’ve been telling you what I want from you this whole time. Fuck, you’re a terrible listener.” He crouches down to get directly in my face. “I want my phone—the one you stole from me. If you don’t give it back to me before Monday, everyone will know the truth about you, about who youreallyare.”
No one knows who Ireallyam, not even Brandon.
Through clenched teeth, I force out, “Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I don’t have your phone.” He took it when he broke in!Hehas it! But he’s so adamant he doesn’t.
Wasn’t it him who broke in? I’m so certain it was; even the cinnamon gum he’s chewing right now smells just like it did last Wednesday in my room. So, if it was him, maybe he didn’t find what he was looking for? The phone wasn’t in my stuff when I cleaned up the mess, I’m sure of it.
Brandon’s eyes narrow. He’s so close to me I could count the freckles on his nose or the flecks of dark brown in his eyes. “Well, I’ve just given you all the motivation you need to find it, then.”
Even if I wanted to give it to Brandon to avoid the picture being passed around—if he even keeps his end of the bargain—I certainly can’t anymore. He wants his phone badly enough to break into my room to find it and to collect blackmail on me. What’s on it? What doesn’t he want people to find out? It must be something about Lily—what else could be so bad he’d go to these lengths?
I bet there’s evidence on there, and I need to see it. Now all I need is to find his phone, and if it’s not with him, I have an idea where I can find it.
“I can’t find something I don’t have,” I tell him, still holding my ground.
“I believe in you. Or rather, I believe in you not wanting the entire community to hate your guts and suspect you did something to Lily. Do you think they’ll throw things at you when you walk by? Or maybe they’ll even run you out of town. That would be fun.”
