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Before I can express any of that, there’s a pounding on the front door, so hard it feels like the whole house rattles.
“That must be Jason,” I tell Gia when she sends me a questioning look. “Why’s he banging like that?”
Gia jumps up from the bed. “I’ll let him in.”
“Thanks. And, Gia, you did amazing today. I’m really proud of you for holding your head high amidst everything going on.”
She purses her lips, as if she hadn’t considered that before, and the aggressive banging starts up again, this time not letting up at all.
Gia rolls her eyes at the noise. “He must be really eager to see you or something, but that’s really rude. I’ll be back.”
He’s been messaging me throughout the day, making sure I’m okay and triple- and quadruple-checking that I’m sure I don’t want him to leave school early to come get me. I’ve been reassuring him that I’m all right and to stay to watch over Gia, that I’ll be upset if he skips out on today’s history test because of me, but it meant a lot that he’d drop everything and stay with me if I let him. It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t here because I’m still going home with him, still making paella with Natalia for dinner, still goofing off with Jackson, still spending time with Jason talking about nothing and everything before bed.
Gia’s voice carries up the stairs as she opens the door.
“You know, you really shouldn’t be—” Her gasp cuts off whatever she was saying, and I hear something bang.
“Hey! Stop! You can’t do that!”
I drop the bag in my hands as heavy feet stomp up the stairs.
“Siena!” Gia screams from downstairs over the thunderous footsteps, her own steps echoing behind. “He pushed past me!”
I only make it a few steps before Brandon, as large and angry and unhinged as ever, storms into my room.
He doesn’t stop until he’s grabbed me by the biceps, shaking me so hard it makes me dizzy.
“Where is my phone?” he yells in my face, spittle flying. “Give me my fucking phone!”
His shake is so forceful that I slip on the rug, and we both go tumbling to the floor. He lands on top of me, his heavy body crushing the air from my lungs. Pain shoots up my arms from how tightly he’s gripping me, and the pressure on them intensifies when he pushes against them to kneel, his knees on either side of my body, trapping me.
“I swear tofuck, if you don’t give it to me right now, I’ll fucking end you!” he yells, rattling me so my head bangs against the floor.
He’s still yelling, his mouth aggressively opening and closing inches away from my face, but I can’t comprehend what he’s saying.
Blackness edges in around my eyes, and it’s so hard for me to breathe that my chest hurts. My head throbs, I’m disoriented, my lungs are tight, and panic sets in. Is this how Lily felt? Is this what he did to her?
I try everything I can—squirming, kicking, pushing—but he doesn’t budge, just stays hovering over me, yelling and shaking me. I don’t want to go out like this, not after everything, not in Dario’s house, not with Gia in the room, crying and yelling something that sounds foreign to my ears.
Forcing myself to breathe, I calm the panic enough to hear him demand, “Where is it? Tell me!”
“And what if I don’t?” I shoot back, unable to help myself. “What are you going to do? Are you going to hurt me like you did Lily? Do to me what you did to her?”
He’s confused for a moment and lets up the tiniest bit. “Lily? What are you going on about? I just want my phone, and you’re making this so fucking difficult!” His eyes are wild as he scans me and the room around me, like the phone will pop out at him. He doesn’t seem like himself right now; he seems frantic and out of control, and that scares me more than the cold, calculated Brandon I first met. It was easier to read that Brandon. I have no idea what the frenzied boy on top of me will do.
He releases a hand from my arm to bang a fist beside my head, making me flinch. “Just give it to me and I’ll leave you alone. What don’t you understand? This is important! Do you know what would happen if anyone found out I’ve been using? Scouts and colleges run if they evenhearthe wordsteroids! My life would be over if they found out. Give me my goddamn phone!”
What is he talking about? Using? Steroids?
He pounds his fist again, this time so close to my face I have to jerk to avoid being hit, and my heart rate triples.
I don’t know what to do: I can’t struggle against him, can’t get him to budge off me. He’s so heavy, so strong, I feel weak and so fucking useless against him.
There’s noise behind us, Gia and something else, but my pulse is racing too fast in my ears to make out the sounds. I can see her over Brandon’s shoulder, and she creeps up, holding something high in her hand.
Oh no.
I have flashbacks to the motel, when she bashed Brandon over the head and almost killed him. I want away from Brandon, but I don’t want Gia to accidentally kill him in the process. We got away with it twice—once with Stan and once at the motel—but we won’t be able to a third time.
