Page 96 of Belong With Me


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Before I can process anything, Zia Stella continues.

“I’ve been using this week to run around and solve everything. Gia and I have been having really good conversations about what happened in LA, and I think I can help her process and find a way to exist with everything that’s happened. It may not be easy or fast, but she’s on the right track. I’m pulling her from the therapist Dario picked out because he didn’t care who she went to or make sure they were a good fit, he just picked one at random from a list on the internet. All he cared about was that she was going and not who she was with, which isn’t working anymore.”

“So, she won’t go to therapy anymore?”

“No, she will. She and I both agree she’d benefit from talking to someone and talking to themhonestly.”

“But she can’t speak to onehonestly,” I say, the insinuation clear in my tone. Speaking honestly would be admitting she’s the one who killed Stan and that I covered for her, which we’ve been doing everything in our power to keep a secret.

She nods, not concerned in the slightest. “My best friend since kindergarten is a therapist whom Gia has met before. I think it would be best if Gia talks to someone who knows everything so she can properly process everything. Tyra won’t tell a single soul; I trust her with my life.

We’ve been through our own stuff together.”

I want Gia to be on the path toward healing, and though it seems like she already is, I only want what’s best for her. So, reluctantly, even though it worries me, I say,

“It’s risky to keep telling people, but if you and Gia trust her and she can help Gia heal, then I’m okay with it.”

Her smile is relieved. “Thank you, Siena. And if you’d like to speak to someone as well, I’m sure Tyra could recommend someone.”

I do kind of miss having someone to talk to, and having someone to speak to honestly about everything would be a nice change from my last therapist. But I’m not sure if I’m ready yet. “I’ll think about it.”

“All right, and you know whether you say yes or no, you always have me to speak to. I’m here for you, and I want that to be more apparent than ever. That’s also what I was running around doing this week.”

My eyebrows draw together as I try to make sense of her words.

“I’m taking custody of you and Gia. The paperwork is in motion, and your father has already signed off on it.”

My jaw drops as I stare at her. This isn’t a joke; she’s being completely serious.

“You—you want custody?”

Her eyes get glassy, and she puts a reassuring hand on my arm. “Yes, I want it more than anything.”

I hear her words, I understand their meaning objectively, but I can’t process them in the context of what she’s saying. She wants custody of me and Gia? Shewantsit?

It wasn’t pawned off on her like our last two guardians?

Like she’s been so good at doing recently, she knows where my mind is spinning. “I was trying to let my brother take responsibility and give him time to adjust, because I wanted you girls to have a relationship with your father, but it’s clear he doesn’t have the will or capacity to be the father you need. He’ll never be who he should be for you, and I wish it could be different, but it’s never going to happen. I absolutely hate the way he’s treated you, and I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

Still at a loss for words, I manage to get out, “It’s not your fault.”

Zia Stella sighs, the guilt on her face clearly disagreeing. “I was trying to let you have your space without interfering too much, but I kept finding myself coming over more and more and being the parent to you both that I wanted to be, even though I was trying to let Dario do it.”

She straightens up, grasping both my hands confidently in hers. “I’m done pretending. I’m done waiting for Dario to wake up and be the man he doesn’t want to be. I’m done trying to keep my distance and not interfere. Iwantcustody, and I’ve spent this week making it happen.”

I stare at our connected hands, the hands of the aunt I never knew existed before moving here, the hands of a woman who decorated our rooms, who kept the fridge full for us, who spent time with us, who was concerned about us, who cared about my well-being and my problems—the hands of a woman who wants to be myparent.

I don’t realize how long I sit there silently, but it must be a while because Zia Stella shifts uncomfortably, clearing her throat.

“Is that, um . . . is that something you’d like?”

Zia Stella is practically the only adult in my life who actually cares about me, but doubt causes me to ask, “Do you want me just because Gia and I are a package deal?”

“What?No!I don’t want you to ever think that!” she exclaims, seemingly horrified at the thought. She squeezes my hands like she’s trying to make sure I’m paying attention. “You’re strong and brave, especially after everything you’ve been through. You’ve carried so much alone on your shoulders, and you don’t have to do that anymore—you don’t have to put yourself second to your sister. I admire you so much, and I love you, and you don’t have to feel like it’s you against the world anymore. We can be a proper family. Iwantus to be a proper family.”

My throat thickens, and I don’t trust myself to speak even if I could.

Aproperfamily. Something I’ve always wanted but never got no matter how much I wished for it. And now it’s being offered to me by a woman wholovesme, who loves Gia, and whom we love in return.

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