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Nick’s pulse picked up. “So you could be here with me?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t say it likethat.”
“Well, I mean, how do you want—”
“Look, I just thought I’d feel better once I worked things out with you.”
Nick sipped his water and remembered the dejection on her face once they’d “worked out their shit.” He’d apologized for what he’d said about her happiness, and she’d looked disappointed. He realized now that Hayley hadn’t been looking forward to spending time with him tonight. She wanted to blame him for whatever was going wrong in her life.
“Damn,” she said. “These mushrooms are good.”
“Uh-huh.”
She saw the look on his face and turned apologetic. “That’s not the only reason I wanted to talk to you.”
“I get it,” he said. “We both wanted to feel better.”
Hayley sat back against the booth and stared at the table for a long time. “You were right,” she said. “The universe only stays together until …” Her shoulders slumped. “Actually, it never stays together.”
Nick felt sick. “It can,” he offered.
Hayley shook her head with a rueful smile. “For a couple days, maybe. A week, tops.”
“Forget it,” he said weakly, almost begging her. “Just forget everything I said that night, okay? I promise you that was—”
“Not who you are,” she cut in. “You said.” She leaned forward. “But you can’t not be you.”
She was absolutely right. The most joyful woman he’d ever seen was getting drunk on whiskey sours because he’d wanted to believe that happiness was something that didn’t exist as opposed to something he couldn’t have. It didn’t matter how much hehated himself for it. He’d wanted to take joy from Hayley Burke the night they’d met, and now he would do anything in the world to give it back.
He tried again. “Just because I’m a jerk doesn’t mean I was right.”
Hayley batted away his words. “Just stop it.”
“I need to—”
“Youthinkyou need to fix it by making everything your fault,” she said, irritated. “I’m the one who decided the world was all sunshine and rainbows just because Icarus was in the rearview mirror. I’m the one who justhadto get some cute guy to smile. God.”
“You thought …” Nick closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, hard. “Great. That’s just great.”
“What?” she demanded. “What did you think I was doing?”
“You said I was miserable,” he said, head in palm. “Not cute.”
“Congratulations. You’re both.”
“What is it about the walker?” he asked her wearily. “Seriously, do the wheels make me look like a five-year-old? I mean, my God, the number of women who’ve looked at me like I’m a preschooler handing them a Valentine’s Day card …”
She squinted at him. “That’s not what I meant!”
“Oh, really?” He laughed. “How did you mean it, then?”
“Kissable!” she snapped. “I’d have fun kissing you!”
Nick very slowly brought his head up to stare at her, and the anger on Hayley’s face faded as her words sank in. She’d have fun kissing him. He hadn’t imagined it; she’d glanced at his lips as if she wanted to taste them. But she was obviously embarrassed to have admitted it.
Because she could do better than him.
“I wouldn’t. I won’t.” The words dropped out of her mouth as she tried to get her bearings. “I’m with Kevin.”
