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“Yeah,” he said. The steps were uneven; the day had gotten hot and humid, and he needed to be in his car, in the air-conditioning, alone.
“My parents really like you,” she said. “I mean, wow.”
“Yeah, well, I’m a pretty likable guy.”
They got to the bottom of the steps, and he hung on to the rail as she jogged back up and retrieved his walker. He eased the front wheels over the curb into the street, stepped down carefully, and then walked to his SUV. He hated how slowly Hayley had to move to keep pace beside him. He opened the car’s back door and let it swing upward.
“You want me to put that in for you?” she asked him.
“Nah, I’ve got it.” He put his left hand flat against a taillight and heaved the walker up and into the back of the car with his right hand. He reached up, grabbed the door, and slammed it down, still leaning against the taillight. Then he worked his way across the side of the car, keeping his palms flat against it for support. The car burned against his hands.
“So,” she said as he yanked open the driver’s door, “can you show me how you drive?”
Nick turned to face her, braced one hand against the seat and the other against the dashboard, and lifted himself into his seat. “Aren’t you staying here?”
She looked confused. “Well, yeah.”
“Can’t really show you how I drive then, can I?”
He wanted to show her. He wanted to do anything she asked of him, even as he couldn’t bear another second of working to make everybody happy. No matter what he did, he’d eventually have to drive away without her.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Did I do something to upset you?”
“You did not.”
“Because you’re monumentally pissed.”
For a moment he was overwhelmed with the urge to beg her to get in the car and leave with him.
“Have fun with your folks,” he said, and shut the door.
18
Everything around her was in motion.
Hayley saw the waitstaff slipping nimbly between the tables; she heard dozens of conversations blend together into something with its own momentum, like the sound of water rushing through rapids. Even without her eyes or her ears, she knew she would still be able to feel the life in the room—and instead of being part of it, she felt like she was sitting in an invisible cage, watching the world through walls she could sense but not see. This feeling had been firmly in the past when she’d talked about it with Nick; how had it found her again?
“You’re kidding.” Dad was deep in conversation with Cal. “A macaroni and cheese sandwich?”
“Macaroni and cheese on top of the regular grilled cheese,” Cal told him. “You’ve got to try it, Tom.”
Dad nudged her elbow. “Can we check out this Melt place tomorrow for lunch, sweetie?”
Hayley managed a smile and a nod. “Of course.”
Only Dad could get someone to stop in the middle of serving a Saturday-night audience to talk about food that wasn’t even on the Vivez Dance menu. It was sweet of him to ask her permission to go to Cal’s favorite restaurant, as if he and Mom couldn’t easily find the place on the way out of town tomorrow. She knew it would never occur to her parents to eat without her while they were visiting, just as it went without saying that they would spend their Saturday night watching their daughter’s boyfriend perform. They loved her, and she loved them, and why wasn’t that enough to stop whatever was slowly going wrong? Something was shifting—she was sure of it—and the peace she had embraced here in Columbus was slipping from her grasp.
“This is impressive.” Mom leaned over to speak into her ear. “These kids are dedicated.”
“Sure are,” Hayley said. “It’s a lot like Icarus.”
“Well. In a way.”
This was how it went with her. Mom could have found a way to compliment this place and her daughter at the same time. Something like,“Wow, sweetie, these kids are just as dedicated as you were at Icarus, and have I told you how impressed I am by all the time you gave to that place?”Instead, she’d just made it very clear that the theater where Hayley had failed to get a job was more impressive than the theater where she’d worked for years. There wasn’t any point in arguing, especially since Hayley was pretty sure she agreed with her mother—but was it too much to ask such an intelligent, capable woman to find a way to be comforting and right at the same time?
“We could see if Nick wants to meet us after the show,” Dad said.
Hayley chuckled wearily. “Dad.”
