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Hayley was still smiling, her voice soft.
He swallowed. “Yes?”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Sure. Because she was moving away. So he’d better not waste time.
“When you …” He cleared his throat. “That thing you say, about me finding my joy. Do you remember when that happened for you?”
Hayley nodded, grinning. “‘Rhythm Nation.’ The Janet Jackson video.”
“You saw that and just knew.”
“My whole body knew,” she said. “All of me. I was begging for lessons the same day.”
He nodded, forced himself to look at her. “So imagine you watched that video,” he said slowly. “And maybe there was always a hole in your heart, maybe the need was always there, but you didn’t know that until you saw the one thing that could fill it. Now your heart is screaming at you to do something, to grab on to what you need so badly, but you can’t follow through. Ever. You can’t fix it, and you can’t go back, so you have to find a way to manage the pain.”
Hayley stared at him.
“Don’t do it,” he warned her. “Don’t you dare cry.”
“Okay.” She nodded to herself. “I’m teaching you to dance.”
“What?” His mouth went dry. “No.”
“Yep!” Hayley walked to the back wall, where her phone was plugged into a speaker system. With the tap of a couple buttons,the infectious beat of a joyful Justin Timberlake hit was coming through the speakers. “I’m teaching you to dance right now.”
“Hayley …”
“You have no idea,” she said. “You work here every day, and you find your joy on that stage, and you haveno ideawhat you can do.” She grinned. “I can fix this.”
“Fix what?”
“Just shift your weight. One foot to the other. I know you’ve got rhythm.”
Nick tried to rock back and forth a little as she danced her way over to him. Hayley kept it simple, little more than walking to the beat with a spring in each step, but she did it like she was designed for it.
He felt like he was standing on a boat.
“Good!” She was delighted, standing in front of him now. “That’s good!”
Nick had never felt more self-conscious in his life. He had gotten in the elevator expecting a difficult conversation. Instead, he had seen talent that surpassed anything he knew. No, talent wasn’t the correct word. He felt like he’d truly seenherfor the first time. Every moment of knowing her had just been a glimpse of what had been revealed in this room minutes ago, and now Hayley was asking him to respond by doing the one thing he could never truly join her in. With every awkward shift back and forth, he wanted to cry or yell or collapse.
But he wasn’t going to cry, yell, or collapse. He was going to make the very best of this, if it fucking killed him, because this unbelievable woman wanted him here with her. This could be the last time they had together.
“Hayley.” He tried to smile and move at the same time. “I don’t mean to disagree, but …”
“Okay. Stop moving.” He did, gratefully, but then things got worse. “Just feel the music,” she said.
“What?”
“Don’t decide anything. Don’t plan anything, don’t add to the Nick Freeman rulebook. Just feel the music and react to it.”
His feet stayed planted to the floor. His hands were gripping his walker so hard that cords of muscle were standing out in his arms.
“I’m trying,” he said weakly.
“I know,” she said softly. She smiled, and he felt himself relax, just a little.
