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Riven flinched. I turned my head and saw his violet eyes were swirling with too many emotions for me to read. He lifted a gentle hand to my brow and stroked my skin until whatever concoction Rheih had given me blanketed me once more.
Just as I was pulled back into the dreamless sea from the wine Rheih had given me, I heard Riven’s whisper through the water. Distant, but clear. “It is.”
CHAPTERSEVEN
ICOLLAPSED ONTO A BROKEN LOGthe moment Feron ended our first training session. My body ached, but not in a cold way that rattled my bones; it was warm and spent. Each breath took work but my lungs could hold more air than the day before. Though I was just as lousy of a wielder.
Riven lingered by the lake as Feron and Lash made their way back into Myrelinth. Exhaustion burned through me and I wanted nothing more than to run into the city and find Nikolai so he could give me my daily ration of wine.
I had more than earned it.
But there was a hollowness in Riven that pierced my gut to see, because I knew I’d caused it. I sat on the sand directly across from the spot along the lake where we had first talked after he returned to Myrelinth. Somehow the world was so different, colder and woven in threads of gray instead of color.
Riven paced behind me.
“When’s the last time you released your magic?” I asked. Riven’s shadows were oozing out of him like a black fog, casting sharp lines into the ground that slashed at the broken trees my own outburst had snapped behind him. I knew the pain of his powers was at its peak.
His jaw pulsed. “A while.”
“You should do it now.” I glanced back at the soft faelights that hung from the branches of the city. From this distance they were nothing but tiny orbs in the trees, like stars in the night sky that were beginning to settle above us.
“I can wait.” Riven paced in front of me once more.
My back stiffened. “I trust you, Riv. You needn’t worry about hurting me.”
Riven ran a hand through his long, black mane, pulling his head back so I could see the tendons in his neck pulse. “That’s not what I’m worried about.” There was an edge to his words, like they were grating over something he didn’t want to say.
My skin heated in shame. With everything that had happened after, I had forgotten about that desperate kiss. “Killian told you.”
Riven halted. He blinked down at me and I could see the internal debate raging inside of him. Whether his patience had finally been ground too thin. All the things I wanted to tell him—about all the nights I hadn’t come to find him even while his burl stayed lit—crashed through my mind, but I didn’t know how to say them.
I didn’t know where to start.
I closed my eyes and waited for Riven’s fury but nothing came. I opened an eye to find Riven’s brow was in his hand. “That is not what I’m worried about either,diizra.”
The nickname felt like a red-hot knife cutting across my skin. I hated the softness in his eyes as he looked at me, perfectly gentle like he thought any sign of anger might make me break.
“It doesn’t cause you worry that Ikissedhim?” I stood unable to contain the whirl of emotions inside me.
Riven’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t relent. “It was a mistake.”
The certainty in his voice aggravated me. I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve any of the kindness or softness he was giving me. I needed him to be angry just as I was. It was twisted and wrong, but I had filed all the broken parts of me to fine points, and I needed to know Riven was hard enough that I wouldn’t cut him if he drew too near.
“You don’t care that I pressed your own brother against a wall?” I scoffed. “You don’t care that he kissed me back?”
Something feral flickered in Riven’s gaze. The softness melted away into something less tame. “You’ve been wasting away in front of my eyes forweeksand you think I’m worried about akiss?” He tossed his arm into the air and shook his head. “You think I care that you know what his lips taste like or how his hands feel on your waist?” Riven stalked toward me like a mountain cat tracking its prey. “It doesn’t matter. Because we both know that when I touch you”—Riven stroked my jaw with his thumb—“that you won’t remember what his touch felt like. WhenIkiss you”—Riven’s fangs left a trail of goosebumps down my neck—“you won’t remember his name.”
I swallowed thickly as Riven’s hand grabbed the back of my throat and pulled me into his chest. “And when I lick you”—Riven’s other hand slipped between my thighs—“you won’t remember he existed at all.”
His gaze fell to my mouth and he inched forward. I closed my eyes and felt the brush of his lips for the first time in weeks. I breathed him in like my lungs were empty and he was the only thing that could sustain me.
Riven groaned into my mouth, refusing to separate even to breathe, as his hand wrapped around my waist. I caught his lip between my teeth and Riven scooped me up, wrapping my legs around him.
He carried me to the start of the tree line, shading ourselves from any beach dwellers across the lake. Not that either of us cared who saw. We were starved. Ravenous. Riven finally pulled away from my mouth to drag his teeth along my neck. I fisted my hand in his hair and moaned softly, feeling the warmth of our magic swell beneath my skin.
There was a dangerous edge to it I had never felt before. Something sharp beneath the electric charge that reminded me of a dagger held against my throat. I grabbed Riven’s cheek and pulled his lips to mine once more. He tasted sweet, like nectar tea that I couldn’t get enough of.
Tendrils of shadows swirled around my legs and waist, binding me against the hardness of his body. Riven slammed me against a tree and nipped at my ear. A wave of shivers ran down my spine, eliciting a gasp that made Riven only more daring.
