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“Hit me,” she demanded louder.
“Damn it, Mia.”
“Hit me!”
“STOP! I’LL NEVER HURT YOU!” I yelled, my breath labored, feeling drained and more than hurt that she thought I’d do this.
“I know,” she said quietly. I looked at her, puzzled, without the first clue what was going on. “I know you’ll never hurt me,” she repeated softly, placing her hands on my thumping chest. “Becauseyou are not your father. Your father would’ve hit me. Your fatherdid,” she stressed.
My eyes went straight to the scar on her left eyebrow, reminding me of the day the devil tried to ruin my annoying little savior. I felt again all the pain, fear, and freedom I lived that fateful day so many years ago.
“For so long, he tried to ruin your life. Leave Michael in the past where he belongs, and don’t let him rule your future,” she pleaded, with so much love and desperation in her eyes, I wanted to cry.
“What should I do?” I begged.
Taking my face in her small hands, she tipped it down until our eyes locked. “Take a chance. You’re being granted a gift here. You’ve found a good woman who cares so much about you. You both can build something marvelous together.” She smiled. “There’s no denying how deeply you feel for each other, so let yourself enjoy all that, take a chance on this beautiful journey. Don’t let Michael win. He’s already taken enough.” She made her point, punching me in the chest with her index finger. “Now it’s your turn to rule your life.”
We were both fighting tears, and when I looked around to compose myself, I realized we were alone in the room.
In true Mia fashion, she bulldozed right into my insecurities and helped me see the truth. I’ve been so scared my whole life of becoming my father, I came close to losing one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
Isabella wasn’t just my baby momma. She was already an integral part of me. I wasn’t suddenlycuredand ready to be a bigger man, but I was seeing things more clearly. Falling for her was as inevitable as it was craving to hold my baby in my arms. I just hoped I wasn’t too late for that.
“How do I fix things? I hurt her so much.”
“Start by telling the truth,” Mia answered simply. She stepped back, retreating to the hallway.
“Do you think I have a chance? Do you think she’ll forgive me and take me back?” It should’ve annoyed me how weak I sounded, but being vulnerable showed I had a lot to lose, and that gave me a burst of strength.
“If she’s as strong and self-respecting as I deemed her to be, I think you have a good crawling ahead of you. You have no idea how happy that makes me.” Good. Mia’s sharpness was returning. “But I do believe you haven’t missed your shot. Your feelings for each other just don’t seem to be clear for you two.” She sighed. “You two are tiring. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Tell her the truth. Your truth. Don’t hold back your feelings. It’s time to take a chance and live the life you deserve.”
As I absorbed her words, Mia turned on her heels, pulling the waistband of my shorts up to keep them from falling, and headed to my door. Right before she reached the corridor, I called her name.
“How did you know I wouldn’t hit you? Weren’t you afraid?”
Smiling softly, she leaned her shoulder against the door frame. “I know you, Benny. There was no way you would’ve hit me. I can count on a lot of people to hurt me in some way. You’renotone of those people.”
“I could have hurt you, you know? I could have done some serious damage,” I joked.
She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Oh, honey, you couldn’t handle me.” Slapping the door frame twice, she gave me a proud smile and left.
My mind went to last night. To the whole shitshow at All In One. To my messy state after Mia and I got home. To how distraught I’d been.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Make me forget.”
“What?”
“Make me forget, Mia. I need to forget this pain. I need to forget the screw-up that I am.”
“You’re not a—”
“I am, Mia. I am.” I thumped my fist on my chest. “Help me erase all that.”
“And what the hell do you suggest? That I hit you on the head?”
“Yes! Punch me hard.”
