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“Isabella, I’m—”
“I’m sorry, we’re closing.”
He startled a little, pain clouding his face, right before it was replaced by determination. He closed the door behind him and turned the key to lock us inside. He flipped the door plaque from “It’s time for coffee” to “More pastries tomorrow” and strode my way.
“That’s good, that way we won’t get interrupted.”
My traitor heart skipped a beat at his approach. I wasn’t ready to stand up for myself against my feelings for him. Noticing my guarded expression, he slowed his pace, not fully stopping, only giving me time to get used to his presence.
He stood in front of me, on the other side of the counter. “You look so beautiful.” He took in a deep breath. “How are you feeling?”
“Still pregnant.” He only nodded. “What are you doing here?”
He took a step closer, and I felt grateful for the counter separating us. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel his arms around me. That was precisely why I needed the obstacle.
“I need to talk to you. Explain.” He ran his fingers through his hair in anxiety. “Most of all, I want to apologize.”
I wanted to say he was too late to throw apologies at me and I didn’t need his excuses. Yet there was a part of me that yearned to understand what happened. A tender corner in my heart needed to know if he walked away from what we had because I wasn’t enough for him. I knew I should comprehend his actions as a result of his own issues, not me. But for my peace of mind, I needed to know.
“You have two minutes.”
To my surprise, he complied instead of arguing for more time. He nodded with resolve, widening his stance, then sucked in a steady breath and began.
“I’m sorry for the hateful things I said. I’m sorry my first instinct to our news was to be a spiteful coward instead of supportive. I’m sorry for running out on you and not holding you in my arms, assuring you everything would be okay. I’m sorry I got drunk instead of staying with you, thinking about names and cribs.”
I placed my hands on the counter for balance and took a shaky breath. But he wasn’t done. He closed our distance and cupped my face, intertwining his fingers in my hair and running his thumb on my cheek.
“I’m sorry I was so scared I’d end up hurting you in the future that I hurt you now and made everything worse. I’m sorry I let my past dictate my actions. I’m sorry I made you feel unwanted when you’re everything I crave.” He jerked his wrist to check his watch. “And before my two minutes are over, I’m most sorry for lying to you. Even if it was by implication or omission. You deserve my truth and my respect, and I gave you pain and deceit.”
That was the moment I should have sent him away. But all I could do was whisper, “Why did you?”
His face contorted in shame, and he hung his head down before facing me. “I was taught to believe I’m not a good person. From a very young age, I learned nothing but violence and hatred. I was scared to subject you and our baby to that kind of toxic environment. I still am. I wanna make things right. I wanna clear everything up and be nothing but honest with you. This is my truth: I screwed up, I made a series of mistakes, and I’m afraid I’m gonna screw things up again, and I’m sure I will. But I can assure you right now, whatever mistakes I make won’t be because I don’t want you or our kid. They’ll most likely happen, because I have no idea what to do, but never for not wanting you.”
There was so much vulnerability in his voice. But how could I believe him so quickly? “You hurt me so much.”
“I know.”
“You made so little of what we had, and then you...you betrayed me. You cheated on me withher.” I felt as broken as my voice.
He closed his eyes in mortification, then snapped them open in sorrow. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through, and for lying to you about it. But Ineverslept with Mia. Since you and I started seeing each other, there’s no one else for me.”
I scoffed. “She was there. I saw your state, and you said—”
“No, I didn’t. You jumped to that conclusion, and I...let you believe that was the truth. It isn’t.” He exhaled heavily. “I have so many wrongs to fix. That’s just one of them. I know this isn’t what you wanna hear, but I promised to be honest. I understand you see Mia as a threat, but she’s not. She’s one of the most important people in my life, just like you are, but for different reasons. She was there because, as so many times before, I needed her help. She’s the kind of person who will drop everything to lend a hand.
“I’m aware I made her look like someone you should keep your distance from, but I’d hate for you to lose a friendship like that for some stupid shit I pulled.”
Was he seriously defending her to me? “Are you in love with her?”
“Never have been, never will be.” His answer was sure and decisive.
“I found her at your place wearing your clothes,” I cried out.
“Nothing happened.”
“So, I’m gonna take a shot and say she wanted to.”
“She most definitely didn’t.” At my unladylike snort, he pulled his phone from his pocket. “My words might be worthless to you right now. That’s solely my fault. This might help.” He hefted himself onto a stool and opened his trail of massages with her. He slid his thumb on the screen, scrolling their conversation until he found what he wanted. “Read this, and on. Please.”
