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After a while of somewhat comfortable silence, she pushed her empty plate to place both of her forearms on the table. “I know it’s a lot to take in. I know you’re rightfully careful because you have your baby to consider. I’m not trying to convince you to give him another chance.” Shaking her head, she corrected, “No, that’s a big, fat lie. I want you two together. I’m not saying you should take him back easily, though.” Pushing herself to the edge of her chair, closer to the table, she stressed, “But I know he can do right by you. You want someone like him in your corner. Once he lets you in and you become a part of his carefully chosen family, you’ll want for nothing.
“He’s the best friend, brother, protector—and I’m sure partner and father—you could ever ask for. I know I have no right to ask you this, but please, don’t let that day get in the way of him being a part of your and your baby’s lives,” she stressed. “He deserves to have this family you’re creating, just like you deserve to have someone like him to love you. No matter what he says, he’s more than capable and deserving of love.”
I considered what she was saying. “He’s very lucky to have you.”
She gave me a small smile. “Thank you.” With a devious grin, she pointed a finger at me. “Make sure to tell Benny that. Maybe we should write this down.” She looked for a paper, making me giggle. When she came up empty, she fished a napkin from the holder and pen from her backpack. She actually wrote my words down and slid the paper to me so I could sign on the designated spot. “I might hold this until I need it.”
After our light banter, she adopted a somber posture. “I do believe your baby has the right to grow up with his father, just like Benny has the right to be with him. But if you decide that’s not what you want, I’ll respect that. If that’s the case, and if you don’t mind...I’d like to be in your baby’s life either way. As much as you allow.”
Talk about a surprise.
“I know it might be weird, but he—or she—is Benny’s baby. That means family to me. I already care about this baby more than you know. We all do. If you find it in your heart to let us in—and again, I include Benny—you’ll be set for life. I don’t mean just financially. But like a family. We can be weird, but we love and protect our own. Whether you’re ready to acknowledge it or not, you’re a part of us now.”
My heart was full and warm. I blamed it on my crazy hormones. Seeing the vulnerability in Mia’s eyes, I wanted to hug her and promise we could all be a big family.
She was more supportive in those few minutes than my mother ever was in my whole life. The same mother I’d yet to admit to I was pregnant.
“I think I took up enough of your time.” Mia raised from her seat. “Do you still have some donuts left? I wanna surprise Gabe.”
“Sure.” I motioned with my hand for her to follow me. “Can you believe I haven’t formally met him yet? I just saw him from afar.”
“You’re kidding?”
“No. I also haven’t met your brother.”
“You’re gonna love them. It’s impossible not to. Gabe is just the most wonderful boy, and Zee is, well, he’s his own brand of special.” There was so much love and admiration for them in her voice.
I selected what I imagined a kid would love. “I’m not a mother yet, but I’m not sure a toddler should eat that much sugar, especially at night.”
“Probably not, but that’s Haley’s problem,” she answered mischievously.
“Oh, really? So that’s how it’s gonna be when my baby comes?”
“No!” she answered way too quickly, her voice dripping with guilt. “I’m not stuffing him up with sugar and sending him back to you after teaching him new ways to drive you and Benny crazy, if that’s what you’re implying.”
I chuckled. “I see. I might need to set some ground rules before letting you babysit. I hope Benjamin knows how to put you in line.”
Understanding the promise I wasn’t saying out loud, she gave me a big, grateful smile as she grabbed the box of goodies from my hand. “For your Little Bean, I’m willing to play by the book...most of the time.”
My throat constricted at her term of endearment. “I’ll hold you to it. And the box is on the house.” She started arguing with me, but after our conversation, I felt like I owed her, and I said so.
“You don’t owe me anything. On the contrary. I feel like I’m gaining a lot since you came into Benny’s life. Our lives.” And there was me fighting tears again.
Lifting the box, she said, “Thank you, Izzie...for everything.” She put a bunch of bills into the tip jar—more than the cost of the donuts—and turned to leave.
As she headed for the door, I realized for the first time since I found out I was pregnant—for the first time ever—I felt I wasn’t alone.
As the weeks went by, I had the sense I knew even less about babies and pregnancies than I’d expected. I was beyond grateful for having the guys to help me navigate such scary waters.
After the debacle between me and Mia, I came back to my office to findWhat to Expect When You’re Expectingon my desk, a gift from Zach. I also started taking advice from Haley and Danny about kids, babies, vaccines, clothes. There was so much to learn.
Despite not having kids of their own, Zach and Mia were fundamental in helping Haley raise Gabe—hell, Mia even brought Haley to live with her right after we met them—so I also asked them a lot of questions when I didn’t wanna tire Danny and Hay with my stupidity.
But even facing the scariest experience of my life, I felt a thrill I hadn’t known. Nothing could beat the sound of my baby’s heartbeat the first time I heard it. It was as overwhelming as it was marvelous. I felt both powerful and humbled when I held Isabella’s hand and we heard the life we created.
As she cried freely listening to it, I limited myself to keeping my tears at bay while I kissed her forehead. That moment made everything feel more real. I couldn’t wait to listen to my baby again.
It didn’t hurt I started spending more time with my Forest. There was nothing as much as a kiss yet; she was playing it safe. But I was accepting what I could get. I was craving her like crazy, but I was giving her the time to trust me. If I was being honest, I also needed that time to trust myself.
