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"I'll draw something for you and for Mr. A," she said and Malcolm felt pain squeeze his chest. Why did she have to like him? Hell, why did Malcolm have to fall for him?
Malcolm was hoping Derrick wouldn't be at the office today. He took business trips all the time. It wasn't too much to hope for that he would take one now. Except the thought of not seeing him made Malcolm feel even more miserable. No matter what, he was going to be in hell all day.
How did he end up getting carried away? Derrick was clearly not the kind of guy who could return his feelings. He was so closed off, but Malcolm thought he had broken through somehow. He even had this vague idea that he and Derrick might spend Valentine's Day together. He was so stupid.
There was never going to be anything between them and he just had to get that through his head. Instead of being banished from his mind, their night together in his bed played in his mind over and over, torturing him.
All the way into work, Malcolm reminded himself of two things. First, Derrick clearly didn't want a relationship with him. The second was that he needed this job. Despite how wretched not being wanted made him feel, he couldn't let his personal feelings interfere with his job. He had to be professional, nomatter how much it hurt to be around Derrick. He had Paula to take care of now and he didn't want to be out of work.
Once he arrived at the office, the previous day came back to him and all the pain of hearing Derrick encourage him to go out with Warren. At least Derrick wasn't there. Seeing his office empty only made Malcolm feel worse, but he told himself to just get to work and stop obsessing about a man who didn't want him.
Eventually Derrick showed up. Malcolm considered just keeping his head down and ignoring him, but that wasn't an option. The man was his boss. As he glanced up at Derrick, Malcolm could have sworn that he had circles under his eyes. That wasn't any of his business. Malcolm quickly turned back to his monitor and tersely said, "Good morning."
"Is it?" Derrick said and his voice was full of barely contained anger so that Malcolm had to look up at him again. Why did Derrick sound mad? Malcolm was the one who was mad at him. "Malcolm, in my office," he ordered him as he went in himself.
Derrick was clearly mad, but he couldn't be mad at him. As Malcolm followed him, he frantically tried to think of some way he could have screwed up and didn't come up with anything. Derrick turned to him. He seemed to be fighting for control before speaking.
"I need to be able to trust you," he said with restrained anger, his whole body tense.
Confused by his words and his attitude, Malcolm didn't know what to say. "What is this about?"
Giving him a bitter smile, Derrick was visibly suppressing his temper as he said, "I know your lunch with Warren went well. Very well even."
Now Malcolm was even more confused. Where was this coming from? Still, he couldn't bring himself to correct Derrick and tell him that he didn't go to lunch with Warren. He was still hurt andmad that Derrick seemed eager to see him with Warren, but that was also why it didn't make sense that Derrick was mad now.
To find out what he was talking about, Malcolm asked, "How do you know what went on between me and Warren?"
As Derrick's eyes flashed with anger, his expression was hard. Taking a step closer, Derrick told him, "Warren called me last night to brag. He was very talkative, very forthcoming about what you and him did, even which hotel he took you to."
Now Malcolm was stunned. Why did Warren lie about him? He still didn't tell Derrick that none of this happened. Derrick had no right to be angry when he was the one who basically pushed him into Warren's arms.
But Derrick wasn't done. Glaring hard at Malcolm, he told him, "Just because you slept with Warren doesn't mean you should talk business with him. The information you learn in this office is not to be shared."
Malcolm stood frozen, his eyes on Derrick. Everything around him slowed as the sound of his own heartbeat got loud in his ear. What the hell? He didn't just say that. Derrick believed that he betrayed him?
In shock, he just stood there in stunned silence. How could Derrick believe that Malcolm would give away confidential information to someone like Warren? And he didn't even ask Malcolm about it before believing what Warren told him.
Malcolm clenched his teeth to keep from saying something he would regret. And he wasn't going to set him straight, not when Derrick couldn't be bothered to find out the truth. In a low, matter of fact voice, he asked, "Are you firing me?"
"Of course I'm not firing you," Derrick said and he looked stricken like Malcolm had hurt him by asking that. It was almost like the idea never occurred to him. "In the future you are not to discuss anything about my business with your lovers." He made it sound like Malcolm had a string of them.
Obviously Derrick thought Malcolm was easy and not too smart. Malcolm had pretty much proven Derrick right about that by falling for him.
But Derrick had just accused him of sharing business information with Warren because he was sleeping with him. The accusation echoed in his head and now he had to speak up.
As his anger was rising, Malcolm took a deep breath to keep himself from flying off the handle. He was at work after all, and he couldn't start yelling at his boss. He forced his voice to stay steady, but he still refused to correct all of Derrick's misapprehensions, except one. "I'm going to remind you that you're the one who pushed me to go out with Warren, and now you're accusing me of something I didn't do. With Paula to take care of, do you really think I would jeopardize my job over Warren?" Malcolm said, his voice low and angry. "What information did I give him? Did he actually say?"
Derrick narrowed his eyes like he was replaying their conversation in his head. "No, he didn't give any specifics about that," he admitted.
Malcolm continued through gritted teeth. "That's because I didn't share any business information with Warren, and if Warren told you I did, he was lying. Now it's your choice who to believe, me or him."
Derrick's eyes darkened, and for a moment, Malcolm thought he was going to say something he really didn't want to hear, that he believed Warren and not him. There was a long pause before Derrick spoke up. His voice was stern and he still had an air of anger and accusation. "I'll take your word for it. You were too busy to talk business with Warren."
Malcolm glared at him and stayed silent. Derrick obviously believed that it was sex that kept him busy, but he wasn't going to defend himself any further. If Derrick wanted to think he had sex with Warren, Malcolm wasn't going to correct him. If hewanted the truth, he should have asked instead of just taking Warren at his word. It didn't matter anyway, Derrick made it clear that Malcolm was nothing to him, he wasn't owed any explanations that weren't about business.
Derrick still seemed angry and Malcolm was angry too. If Derrick wanted to make sure Malcolm knew they didn't have a future together, he made it perfectly clear. Derrick had been so quick to believe what Warren said about him. In his eyes Malcolm was untrustworthy, disloyal.
Malcolm was so deeply wounded, he couldn't even speak to put it into words. He wanted to lash out, to scream at Derrick, to tell him how much he hurt him. He clenched his teeth and held it all in.
