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There’s a weird thing that happens when your survival depends on the number of hours sold to a client. It’s not just the two to four hours you spend with them, it’s the hours getting ready, the time in the car getting there and back, the time to unwind at the end of the night. Some days, I think maybe this is what a corporate sales job is like. A day filled with meetings you don’t want to be in, talking about shit you don’t believe in, surrounded by colleagues and clients, some of whom you like and some of whom you don’t. Always chasing the cash that somehow is never enough to justify the bullshit you put up with.
Maybe, when you truly take a step back, that’s just life. For everyone. Some just have it slightly better than others.
“Cat, I’ve been meaning to chat,” Toni says as I take a seat opposite her.
“Oh?”
“I wanted to apologize for what the police put you through the other day. I should have been the one up there with them. That wasn’t your responsibility.” She taps the pages she’s holding on the counter before looking up at me. “And for missing my appointment with Lieutenant Flint. I’m sorry.”
With a casual wave of my hand, I brush off her concern. “It was fine.”
She doesn’t look convinced.
“What happened?” Jules asks, looking from me to Toni.
“They just had some questions about where Lizzie got her drugs from,” I explain. “I panicked. I kept thinking they thoughtIhad something to do with it. I overreacted.”
“Lieutenant Flint should have known better.”
“No, he didn’t mean to hurt me.” I defend him before thinking, but when both Toni and Juliette stare at me, I add, “He apologized. On his way out.”
“Yes, I heard him.” Toni raises one eyebrow as if she’s daring me to comment.
“He’s a nice guy,” I say. “I wouldn’t look more into it than that.”
“He watches you.” Juliette puts her coffee down on the table but leaves both her hands wrapped around it. Her head tilts slightly as she studies my face, gauging my reaction. “I noticed that when we were in the police station. His eyes always settled on you.”
My throat is suddenly very dry. I want to ask, ‘Howdid he look at me?’ But I don’t. “You’re imagining things.” It’s a lie. I know Aiden watches me. It’s also part of the reason I told Toni that Aiden ‘stopped by’ instead of the truth, that he stayed for a good thirty minutes, watching me bake cupcakes.
“Why is that so hard for you to believe?” Toni laughs. “You’re a gorgeous, single female. He’s a red-blooded male. It should be simple.”
But there’s nothing simple about it. “He’s not that guy.”
“What do you mean?” Juliette asks.
“The guy who wants a quick fuck with another single. With anescort. He’s…” I think about how best to describe him and remember back to what I told Aiden. “A square peg.”
Toni’s eyes glint with amusement. “Are you saying you’re a round hole?”
Juliette chokes on her coffee.
Even I crack a smile. “In a way. He would never pay for me. He would never sleep with me, knowing what I am.”
Toni looks down at her nails. “And what is that?”
I shrug. “A whore.”
Juliette flinches as if I’ve slapped her.
Toni doesn’t look up from studying her manicure. Her voice is low and cool when she says, “It sounds like you still have a lot to work through, Catherine.”
“I’m sorry.” These girls are all I have, and I would hate to hurt any of them. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. But you know I’m right in this one instance. People like Aiden Flint don’t date girls like me. Besides,” I push to a stand and start for the kitchen, “rule number two: No boyfriends.”
In the kitchen, I fill a glass with water, watching as the liquid rises, higher and higher. I know how Toni feels about what we do. She thinks that sex is a commodity and that the provision of it should be a legal service. I agree with her for the most part. The girls of Clementine Lane have it better than most sex workers. We have more than we could possibly need. A home. A family. Asupportsystem. First-class medical care. And legal privileges. Because we found each other and built something with that trust.
But there are others out there, women and children and even some men with no other means. Some of them are victims of their own choices, of course. Denying it is silly. We’ve all been there before, and none of us was guilt-free. But once those decisions had been made, those one or two bad paths that we’d committed to, most as barely legal adults, there was no safety net to catch us and fling us back into polite society.
Hell, I had my dad. And money. I was one of the lucky ones. I had the means to get help if I’d just been humble enough to ask for it. Girls like Toni, Lizzie, Lyla, and even Suzy, never stood a goddamn chance. They were destined from the moment they came into the world, little innocents covered in blood and wailing at the unfairness of it all.
