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“Okay, I’m going to get started on breakfast,” Molly announces with an embarrassed laugh, waving her hands at us to leave her alone. “Why don’t you two go get caught up and I’ll yell if I need anything?”
“I’m not going to complain,” Mom replies with wide smile. “But for an early dinner, how about if we see if Shannon’s family can come and I’ll order pizza to make it easy?
“Pizza works, but I’ll make dessert,” Molly agrees, and I hope my sister can make it considering the short notice. “Oh, where’s the bathroom?”
With that settled, Mom and I head into the small living room to catch up.
She fills the first few minutes with news of my sister and their lives, most of which I know, but it gives me time to prepare for her interrogation. I know it’s coming and overdue, I still just don’t know how to explain the certainty I feel in regards to wanting Molly in my life.
“Ryan…”
“Mom, have you ever dated anyone? After my father, I mean, and seriously dated?” I ask, cutting her off. The sad smile she gives me says it all, after opening and closing her mouth two times, she merely shakes her head.
“I suppose if I had ever bothered with therapy, they would have addressed my trust issues.” She pauses a moment after that statement before reaching out for my hand. “I did the best I could, Ryan. I didn’t grow up in a time that therapy was common and maybe I should have done more for you and…”
“Mom, no. You did the best you could and always made us a priority.” This is the first time we’ve openly talked about the past and the last thing I want is for her to feel guilty about any of it. “It might be a good time for you to allow yourself some happiness.”
“What about you, Ryan?” Her eyes convey more than her words when she looks at me. Mom knows damn well that I fuck around, avoiding intimacy at all costs.
“I think, if I had met Molly on any other day, I’d have tried to get into her pants and moved on when she said no.”
“Did my baby have an epiphany?”
“It was a bit more like a two by four, than me figuring shit out on my own, but yeah,” I murmur, still vividly picturing the man in the parking lot and the two baby seats in the back of his car, one of which held that little boy.
Mom sits quietly for a few moments, just holding my hand. She tilts her head as her eyes narrow. “An actual two by four?”
“No, but just as effective.”
Her body relaxes again as she nods and rests her head against my arm.
Breakfast is fantastic, but my lack of sleep is catching up with me by the end of it.
“Ryan, you go climb into your old bed,” Mom insists when we finish eating. “Molly, do you want to come to the farmer’s market with me?”
“Oh! I’d love to,” she answers enthusiastically and I’m glad she at least got a few hours of sleep on the way here.
When they leave, I drift around the small home that seems frozen in time. I can’t remember the last time I was here alone and as memories come flooding back, I wonder what it would take to convince my mom to move to Rowansville.
Would mom finally be able to shake off the ghosts of her past, like Shannon and I have done, by moving somewhere no one’s ever heard of her?
My sister lives over an hour from here; somehow balancing three kids and a job as an accountant with her husband, who’s a high school principal. While Shannon makes time for Mom, I wonder if there’s anything else keeping her tied to this area.
*
“Royce?” Molly whispers as she lowers herself to the edge of the mattress.
Without opening my eyes, I snake an arm up to pull her down alongside me. She partially shrieks, and water from her freshly showered hair hits my face when she giggles as she cuddles up to my side.
“Well, you got me into bed. Now what are you going to do with me, stud?”
I can’t help the growl I let out as I crack one eye open. The living room is on the other side of the very thin wall at my back, so I can’t think of any place she’d be safer from me.
Her gentle laughter shakes the bed, making the old metal frame groan. “How long did I sleep?”
“Just a few hours,” she answers, her lips moving against the sensitive spot at the base of my neck as she speaks. “Your mom is wonderful, but I know she wants time with you. Your turn for a shower, while I sleep for a bit. Your sister will be here around two, so if you could give me time for a coffee before I meet them, I’d appreciate it.”
“If she said two, she’ll be here between one and one thirty,” I tell her. “Shannon’s like a drill instructor, and me bringing a girl home will be added incentive to get everyone here.”
