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He was moving again. A sharp click and a pool of light blossomed beside the bed. It left his face in shadow, illuminating the bedside table, the patchwork quilt of the double bed and the black shirt and trousers he’d worn to the party. The grey knit jumper he’d worn under the jacket lay on the bed, as if he’d tossed it there when he arrived home.
‘Because of the argument about your relationship with Dan?’
Becca nodded, skirting him to perch at the end of the bed. ‘I wasn’t sure about being pregnant that night. I had the symptoms but I wasn’t game to get a test kit locally. I was going to tell you and ask if you could get a test kit in Brisbane.’
He dropped onto the side of the bed, an arm’s length away, loosely clasping his hands and resting them on his knees. The shade of the lamp still left his face in shadow. ‘And I broke up with you.’
‘It would have happened sooner or later.’
A hiss told her he’d sucked in a breath, but his voice remained flat and cool. ‘Why do you say that?’
‘People like me …’ She broke off with a shake of her head. ‘You were in Brisbane most of the time. I couldn’t expect you not to notice a whole city full of attractive women.’
He snorted, something almost like a laugh. ‘A whole city. You do have an exaggerated idea of my stamina.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘When I was in Brisbane I was head down, tail up studying like a lunatic. I didn’t have time to breathe, never mind spend my time partying. I was doing a double degree in biological sciences in order to get a head start with the tropical medicine component later on. It’s why …’ His words trailed off and she had a feeling he’d been about to say something important.
‘Anyway, we broke up and you thought I’d been seeing Dan on the sly. How could I tell you I might be pregnant?’
‘What was the truth about Dan? You might as well tell me. It’s not going to change anything now.’
‘I didn’t want him and he didn’t want me. Not really. He wanted to get the upper hand on the stuck-up Morgan Cavanaugh. He hated that you dumped him as a friend and he knew you’d tried to get Ben to steer clear.’
‘Did he force you into anything? Did he hurt you?’
‘He slapped me around a couple of times. Nothing I couldn’t handle.’
Except the last time. That had scared her. If Morgan hadn’t dropped by early …
‘He was out of it with drugs and alcohol most of the time. He dropped out of school ages before. The police had been onto him and it made him angry.’
‘So he took it out on you.’
‘He wasn’t home much. The only time he came home was to get money out of Aunt Bea.’
‘Was he getting money that last night? The night of the accident?’
‘He’d been into the tea caddy. Mum used to hide a bit of cash there for emergencies. He found it and I tried to stop him.’
‘He wanted it for drugs?’
‘I’m guessing it was. He had some with him in the car that night.’
‘I remember.’
***
Morgan watched Becca flex her toes in the black socks she was wearing. She was studying them as if they held the answer to the secrets of the universe.
The anger still burned inside, pushing at his vitals, churning his stomach and tightening his chest. So much anger. At Becca, at his parents. At Dan who’d hurt Becca and lied about her. Dan was beyond punishment now, his life strangely happier with all that resentment and bitterness burned out of him by the accident. The guilt still tied his gut all the same.
‘I wanted Dan to be dead that night. I thought if he died, I could go back.’
Becca’s head jerked around to face him. ‘Is that why you didn’t want me to help with CPR?’
‘It was more I hated you touching him.’
