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There was a stillness about him that reminded her of the kangaroos along the road near her place as they watched her go by on her bike, waiting to make their choice of which direction to make their escape.
‘Any particular reason?’
‘After what happened the other day, I thought you’d agree.’
‘We made a mistake. One we can learn from for the future.’
He was cold. As if this was some kind of academic debate instead of real life where there were children who could be hurt and hearts that could be broken.
‘I can’t do it, Morgan. I can’t live right next door where I’m reminded of what used to be and knowing it’s different now. My place is close enough. The children can go back and forth easy enough, like they do with your parents.’
He was looking at the laptop, as if the answers might lie inside. ‘So it’s me that’s the drawback.’
‘I’ve had to put up with Grace’s treatment for all these years. I don’t need another person in my life who thinks I’m nothing.’
He jerked upright, pacing across the room to pause by the narrow examination bed. ‘I don’t think you’re nothing. You’ve done an amazing job bringing up Gabby and Edward. I want to be friends. We need to be friends for the sake of the children.’
‘And if I want more? If I want a relationship?’
His hand passed over his eyes, resting on his forehead, thumb and forefinger kneading his temples. ‘You’ll have to find one elsewhere.’
‘I can’t do that if I’m living in the same house as you. It wouldn’t feel right.’
‘Point taken.’
He looked down at her with something unfathomable in his cold eyes. ‘I anticipated this and I’ve thought of a solution.’
Trust Morgan to think ahead. It proved she’d been right about his reaction to what happened. ‘And?’
‘I’ve been speaking to Michael Long about the possibility of taking over the practice if I were to leave. The locum who was here the other day, Jen Parker, is keen to find a permanent position which means she could join the clinic as a GP and Michael can continue his role as chief surgeon at the hospital.’
Her throat cut off her breath as she pushed herself to her feet and tried desperately to suck in air. ‘You’re leaving?’
So many thoughts bombarded her, she couldn’t untangle them. ‘Why?’
‘It’s obvious my presence here is the issue. I’m the alien influence causing disruption. If I remove myself, you can all go back to normal.’
‘That’s crazy. Your parents need you. Your children love you.’ She indicated the office with a tremulous wave of one hand. ‘You’ve barely started to get things sorted here. People are relying on you.’
Morgan straightened, his chin lifting. ‘I have to go. As soon as I can organise a locum, I’ll be leaving. Michael will be ready to take over at the end of next month.’
Becca wanted to reach out and grab him, as if that could stop him; but she knew better than to reveal any kind of weakness. She wouldn’t give him that kind of power. She pushed her hands into her uniform pockets. ‘What about the children?’
‘I’ll pay child support. They can contact me by email. Skype maybe. Visit where appropriate.’
‘That’s not the same as being here, being a father to them.’
‘They managed for twelve years without me. The last few weeks were a mistake. I’m sorry.’
Becca searched his face. ‘I don’t understand. Talk to me, Morgan. Tell me why you’re abandoning everything. Your parents, this clinic. Us. Your family.’ With rare control, she managed not to add the emotive word ‘again’.
‘Not my family. Your family, Becca. I can’t be a part of it. I can’t marry you. It’s a small town. They expect happy endings. As long as I’m here, they’ll be watching. Talking. Wondering why.’
With a snort, Becca turned away, staring at the painting of a tropical jungle on the wall with eyes that saw nothing. ‘Don’t insult me with excuses. I’m not asking you to marry me. All I want is for you to be here for Edward and Gabby. They love you. They need you.’
‘You want something I can’t give.’
What could she say to that? Her heart screamed its need but he was going away again.
