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“They seemed to like the beach. I felt them kicking much more than when we were at home,” I said.
“We’ll bring them up here next time we go,” Taylor said. “There are plenty of seashells to collect on the coastline.”
I loved when Taylor got like this. When he was tired, he was a bit more open. When he got like this, he liked to make future plans. He would describe them with such detail and love that I could see them in front of me. I never should have worried about whether Taylor wanted to be a father, he clearly thought about our life as a family whenever he could.
“We’ll come here next summer,” he said and gave one more kiss to my stomach. “We’ll buy our little one a pretty sunhat and keep them under the umbrella, safe from the sun. Occasionally, with their hands in ours, we’ll swing them into the water so they can feel the water on their small feet.” He kissed slightly higher and worked his way up, not leaving marks, being as gentle with me as possible. “Then when they are older, we’ll build sandcastles. Maybe we’ll have another little one who’ll knock it down splashing in the water.” He reached my neck, kissing so softly I didn’t even giggle. “We’ll walk up and down these beaches with them and I’ll teach them the names of the water and the stars.” He kissed the side of my mouth. “And you’ll tell them stories.” He kissed the crown of my head and laid back down. “Doesn’t that sound good?”
“It sounds wonderful.” My mind whirled with the possibilities. The idea of another kid got my heart fluttering, we didn’t even have our first yet, but I knew I would want more. I wanted our family to be big. Both Taylor and I were only children and we both agreed that we didn’t want that for our kids. We spent so much of our lives lonely. We didn’t want that for our kids either.
I heard Taylor’s breathing slow down as he began to doze off again. I couldn’t quite go back to sleep yet. My mind was captured by the fantasy Taylor had described.
I began thinking about how our life would play out. In front of me I watched us going home and filling the place with the cries and laughter of children. I thought of our family coming to visit the little ones. I imagined the birthday parties and the holidays with everyone gathered. I thought of all the date nights. I realized we had so much time now. We had the rest of our lives, and we never had to go back to the way things were before.
I twisted the ring Taylor had given me as he snored slightly beside me. Our second wedding was beautiful. Virgo and Michael had decided to hold theirs later. I got to wear the wedding dress I designed along with my mother and aunt’s veil. This time I got to write out vows and I didn’t feel like I was lying.
“I promise to hold you when you need me. I promise to be strong when you need me. But I promise to always love you.” My voice echoed in my ears along with the sound of the rolling waves outside.
“Thank you for making me feel safe. I love you Lydia,” Taylor had said. It was the exact same thing he said during our first vows, back before it was real. This time, I knew he meant it.
I nudged him slightly until he stirred beside me. “You’re going to love me forever?” I asked as he woke up.
I saw him smile, despite the sleep still heavy in his eyes. “What if I told you I wanted to?”
I reached over and tapped his wrist twice and kissed him, knowing it was true.
