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Barrett nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, Josh and I both told him that already. But thank you for saying that, too. Means more to me than you know. I’m sorry I blew up at you this morning. I guess I’ve just been feeling on edge lately.”
“Me too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. And apology accepted. And I’m sorry, too, if I ever make you feel like I don’t trust you to lead this family. You’ve never once steered us wrong, and I do have faith in you. I love you. You’re a great husband and father.”
“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself at the whole wife-and-mother thing.”
“Gee, thanks,” I say and playfully punch him in the shoulder.
He gives me a huge cheeky grin in return. As much as I want to ignore it, I can’t. We need to talk about something else tonight before I’ll be able to fall asleep.
“Barrett, the MaryEllen and Keri thing. I can’t believe you haven’t mentioned it more until now. Why?”
“Why what?”
“Seriously? Why haven’t you talked more about either of them? Either MaryEllen’s retirement or Keri’s job?” My voice comes out accusatory, which I didn’t mean but… maybe I did.
“Probably because you didn’t ask. Probably because it didn’t seem to be top of your mind. Lately, if it’s not something that directly affects you, you never ask or care to know more,” he says, voice a little harsher than I’m used to. “That’s why I get so frustrated when you suddenly act like you should have so much input in the business. You never ask, never want to be involved, and then suddenly you think I’m screwing something up so you have all these ideas and plans. It’s frustrating as hell.”
“Barrett, I care. You know I do, right?”
“I know that, Tess. But you haven’t seemed very interested lately, so I’ve just not brought up anything going on there, aside from the Andy-thing.”
“I’m sorry, Barrett. I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s fine.” He shakes his head and shrugs a single shoulder. “Well, it’s not. But it will be, right?”
“Right. I promise. I’ll make sure to be more active and stuff.”
“Well. Don’t try too hard.” He chuckles.
“Nice.” I laugh. I pause, twirling my hair in my fingers a little, nervous to bring up my next question, but I have to so I just pull up my big-girl panties and do it. I lick my lips and run my teeth over my bottom lip and muster up the courage to ask my next question. “So, Keri?”
“What the hell, Tess? Are you kidding me right now?” he says as he sits up straighter, his voice low and angry, one he rarely, if ever, uses on me.
“What?”
“Are you seriously accusing me of something going on between me and Keri?”
“No! I mean… I guess I don’t know. You’ve never really mentioned her. And things between us, they’ve not exactly been rainbows lately. What’s she like?”
“I can’t even believe that you’re questioning me about her right now.”
“Why won’t you answer the question then?”
“Because the question doesn’t deserve an answer! And neither does the accusation!” He stands up and runs his hands through his hair. He’s frustrated with me, and I can see why. Barrett has never, not once, given me a reason to question his love or devotion for me, yet here I am, feeling a little uncertain about us and immediately jumping to conclusions. All because we’ve had a bit of a dry spell.
“Tess. She’s the office manager. I don’t know. She’s in her mid-twenties, like I said. No, she’s not married, but I think she has a boyfriend. The only reason I know this is because she sometimes talks about a guy, and she randomly gets flowers. That’s the extent of my knowledge of her personal life.”
“Is she pretty?” I ask because I’m an idiot and can’t stop myself and apparently don’t listen well.
Barrett glares at me. “What the fuck, Tess. You’re really starting to piss me off. She’s Keri. I honestly don’t look at her in any way but as our office manager.”
I get up on my knees and face him. “Barrett, I’m sorry. I trust you.” I plead with him as I wring my hands together. “I promise I do. It’s just that lately, I don’t know. We’ve been… off. You have to admit that. And I don’t know, I’m just so exhausted all the time, but I feel like we’re slipping. I hate this feeling,” I finally admit, the tears starting to build behind my eyes.
He blows out a deep breath and runs his fingers through his short hair again. “Me too, Tess. I know what you mean.”
