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He scoffs at me while shaking his head, but when he continues, he doesn’t pick up on my lighter tone; rather, his is still lingering on the annoyed side. “Yeah, okay. Tess, you know there’s plenty that goes on that you don’t see or know about. And guess what? We manage just fine. Can you just back off?”
I flinch at his words. I can’t help it; they sting quite a bit. Telling me to back off is not like him at all, although me backing off isn’t like me, either. “I wouldn’t have to put my nose into it if you guys would just tell us what is happening all the time. Yes, I have my business. You have yours, but how would it make you feel if I never told you a single thing that happened at the studio?”
“Honestly, if I don’t have to hear about throw pillows and paint colors all the time, I’ll be fine,” he smirks, deflecting my snarkiness.
“Jerk!” I playfully hit his shoulder. Luckily his smartass comment is enough to stop our arguing, but it still hurts to know that he doesn’t feel the need to share everything with me. I suppose maybe I come across as being bossy and maybe a bit nosy, but that’s not it. I feel disconnected if he doesn’t include me. It only gets harder and harder; we’ve been together for all of our adult lives and then some. To have this disconnect now is just… hard. And scary. And frustrating.
“I’m kidding, babe. You know that.” He smiles at me and chuckles lightly but sobers quickly. He looks me straight in the eye and runs the back of his hand down my cheek. “And I’m sorry I snapped at you. I didn’t mean to. I know I shouldn’t have told you to back off. That was an asshole thing to say. And it isourbusiness, as in all of ours. It’s just that when you question me like that, it makes me feel like you don’t trust me. And, it’s not that I don’t appreciate you wanting to be involved, Iwantthat. I want your opinions and suggestions, but like I said, can you please just show me a little more faith?”
He has a point. I wouldn’t appreciate it if he questioned my choices either. “I know, but thank you for saying that. And I’m sorry, too. Sometimes I overstep because I can’t help myself. I promise, I do have faith in you. Just like I know you have faith in me,” I say as I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss his jaw.
The sound of my cell chiming a text brings another smile to my face, and out of the funk that we were both gearing up to venture in to. Cole checks in every morning. He’s our oldest but will always be my baby. No matter if he’s twenty years old, 6’2”, and has a good seventy pounds on me. When he left for college two years ago, I knew it would be hard, but having him check in so often, all on his own, makes life better.
Before I can check my phone, Barrett stops me. “We good?”
“Of course. We’re good,” I confirm.
He studies my face, and I can see the question still in his mind. “Barrett, I promise. You apologized, and we learned years ago that it doesn’t help anyone or anything to hold a grudge. I promise. I love you. A whole lot. I forgive you.”
He blows out a breath and says, “Thank you. I love you, too.”
With our argument settled, I reach for my phone and pull it out to see what the morning has brought our oldest.
Cole:Morning, Mom.
Me:Hey bud. How are you?
Cole:Just woke up so ask me later.
Me:You have class at 9, yeah?
Cole:Yeah. Today’s my busy day and I work tonight.
Me:I’m proud of you.
I tell him this every day. He knows it, but he needs to hear it.
Cole:Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what you always say.
Me:It’s true and you need to hear it. I also love you.
Cole:Love you too. Is dad around today? I need to talk to him about something.
Because Barrett’s nosy and was looking over my shoulder the entire time, he snatches the phone out of my hand, and I laugh as I watched his fingers move across my screen slowly. He might text our children often, and me, for that matter, but there are some things that are hard to learn.
Me/Barrett:Hey bud. Yeah, I’m around.
Cole:Figured you’d respond.
Me/Barrett:What? Your old man is predictable? **scoffs**
Cole:**snorts** just a little. Did you go out and greet mom by hugging. her and saying morning babe?
Me/Barrett:…
Cole:Ha! Told you. You’re as predictable as the sun coming up every day.
Me/Barrett:All right all right, I get it. I’m a boring old man.
