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Ashlyn bites down on her glossy lip and shakes her head. “Why would anyone want to drink that stuff? It tastes gross.” She settles deeper into the couch, and I tug on a lock of her hair as a small smile graces her face. Andgoddamn. That smile.
It’s the kinda smile that gets you through the shit in life.
I haven’t seen too many of them.
Fuck.
I finish off my beer and drop her full cup in mine. “You get used to it eventually.”
She shivers and rubs her arms.
“You cold?” I ask as I take off my flannel and drape it over her shoulders, then leave my arm hanging there too, liking the feel of her against me.
“Thanks,” she answers as she inches closer. “Wanna tell me why you don’t feel like talking at a party celebrating your team?”
“My roommate was our team captain. He died a few months ago. It’s been a fucked up season on top of a few fucked up years. I just want to get through the next few months, get drafted, and get my life started.”
“What was his name?” she asks. “Your roommate?”
“Jamie,” I whisper and feel that same pressure building in my chest that I always feel when I think about him and his girl, Charlotte. “He’d just gotten engaged. He was driving his girl to the airport, and somebody blew through a red light.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers just as quietly.
Funny thing is I think she actually is.
This girl... I think this girl might be something special.
* * *
By three a.m., the party pretty much cleared out, and Ashlyn and I have moved inside. We’ve just been talking. I stopped drinking after I finished her beer earlier. Probably should do that more often. Stop after one or two. I’ve definitely done too much drinking since Jamie died. But our place was so fucking quiet without him. I even miss that goddamn bulldog of his and all his drool. After years of sleeping in my sister, Maddie’s room to make sure whatever piece-of-shit foster parents or siblings we were living with at the time didn’t think it was okay to sneak in, in the middle of the night, Jamie and I got paired up as freshmen, and we’d roomed together ever since.
The last couple of months fucking sucked.
I’m not used to being alone.
Tonight is the first time in a long damn time I haven’t felt it.
The gnawing fucking feeling.
The one telling me I’d failed to protect Jamie and I’m failing Maddie every night I’m not in that house with her. The feeling that won’t let me go a day or two without stopping by her foster house to intimidate the shit out of everyone who lives there and remind them, without words, I’ll kill anyone who lays a finger on my sister. It doesn’t matter that this foster house is different. That we don’t hate these foster parents. They haven’t been bad, but you can’t let your guard down. We’ve learned that the hard fucking way. Always alert. Always prepared.
But tonight ...Her... She’s different.
Something about Ashlyn is calming.
Soothing almost.
I’m not sure what it is.
But I’ve never met anyone this easy to talk to.
Ashlyn yawns and leans her head against my shoulder. “I think I need to go find Nina. We need to leave soon.”
“I can drive you home.” I wouldn’t hate a few more minutes with this girl.
“Thanks, but Nina has to come home with me. Her dad will kill us if he finds out we snuck out. We’re going to be exhausted practicing today as it is. He’ll definitely notice. He always does.” She yawns again.
“It’s just one party. How pissed can he really be? Haven’t you earned it? You’re both good enough to be going to the Olympics. He’s got to get that you know your own limits. You can’t get this far without it.”
