AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Macquire Univeristy was a big college. Lots of students, but Ryan was Ryan Jensen and well, he was treated like a celebrity. He’d gotten that treatment already in high school, and it hadn’t changed. It got more and because of that, we didn’t spend a lot of time out and about on campus. Me being in the library and still being here was probably was not the norm. He came over, sitting down in the chair beside me. A computer was in front of him, but he ignored it. “You were here all day?” He reached over, smoothed a hand down my back as I leaned forward.
I nodded. “I need to tell you something.”
His frown deepened, but he was looking me over, heavy concern on his face. “Did you eat?”
I’d been about to tell him about the blogger girl, but asked, “What?”
“Lunch. You didn’t eat anything for breakfast. Did you skip lunch too?” He was still taking me in, his eyes tracking over every inch of me, to my bag, to my things spread out around the computer, and lingering on my coffee cup.
Understanding dawned.
Oh, shit. He was worried about me, like worried worried about me.
I flinched before reaching for his hand, scooting my chair closer to him. I lowered my voice. “Hey.”
His eyes met mine, but he was still searching inside of me, trying to figure out what was going on with me and if it was something deeper he needed to worry about. “Yeah, babe?” His hand cupped the side of my face, holding me in the palm of his hand for a moment.
I closed my eyes, leaning into that hand before I looked back at him. I squeezed his hand. “I’m okay. Okay?”
His eyes clouded. He didn’t answer.
Regret hit me low in my sternum, but it only flared briefly. What I went through, what happened to my sister, I knew I’d get this look from him. And I knew in a way that I’d always get this look from him, but guilt spread through me. This was the struggle with my mental health because when I was good, my loved ones may not be. They may not understand the page I was on was clear and clean, and they might need some extra time to adjust. But I also felt bad because he wasn’t my father or my brother. I didn’t want him to have that constant look of worrying about me, or reading into anything I did out of the ordinary.
But Ryan being Ryan, he wasn’t saying anything. He was just trying to silently figure it out.
“Hey.” I took his other hand from my face and leaned close, whispering, “I have not lied to you. We have a system, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“When I start struggling, I’m supposed to tell you. And I will. I’ll tell you.”
He wasn’t convinced. The cloudy look hadn’t cleared.
I leaned in, my lips meeting his for a soft kiss. “I will tell you. I promise.”
“But what if you don’t know yourself?”
“I’ll know. I promise.”
He scanned everything I had spread out around the computer again, the side of his jaw clenching.
“Hey.” I touched the side of that square jaw that I loved so much and brought him back to looking at me. “I don’t get like this with my stuff. I think Willow did, but that’s not me. And I will tell you, but this isn’t that. I’m good. I promise.” I moved my hand, laying it against the side of his face, hoping he can feel that I’m me. I’m not something else.
He nodded, breathing out some air. “Okay. Yeah. I just—” His eyes closed. “I don’t want you to ever suffer and I—”
“I know. I do.” I moved in, my mouth brushing over his again.
He relaxed, but I started to lean back. He didn’t let me, opening his mouth over mine and taking control of it. Ooooh. Deep and dark hunger lit up inside of me, as his mouth now was commanding mine.
Click.
He froze first.
Click, click.
Tearing his mouth away, he scanned the room and shoved up from his seat. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
It took me longer to realize what was going on. Ryan’s kiss had left me in a daze, but I stood up, seeing him approaching a group of girls who had their phones out, pointed at him. A few were still pointed at me.
