Page 4 of A Christmas Song


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Ryan glanced my way before answering, “Mostly a lot of curse words.”

Chavez flicked his eyes upwards, stepping more into the doorway, his hand on the doorknob. “She’s a fucking mess. Literally, but I’m taking her around to find where her things are. And speaking of,” his gaze turned my way, “you don’t have an extra key for your place, do you? She needs new clothes, and she has no way of getting into your place.”

“Of course, yeah.” A pang sliced through me because she hadn’t messaged me asking for the extra copy herself. “Does she know I was there last night?”

“No. She’s not brought up anyone’s names. She’s just mad at me.”

“What’d she say when you told her about how her boyfriend did nothing when you carried her out of the bar?”

His gaze hardened. “She said nothing.”

I started to reach for my own keys, but paused at that answer. Jesus. What was going on with Maren?

Ryan came over, touched a hand to my shoulder. “I’ll give him my key. We can make an extra later today.”

“Oh, okay.” I frowned, looking at Chavez again. “Does she know I’m up here?”

His mouth thinned. “She looked around in the living room once, but that was it. She’s not said anything, asked anything. The girl’s in her own world, but something is going on.”

Ryan had taken his key off his own set and handed it over. “Let us know when you know?”

“Of course.” Chavez took the key, pocketing it, and his gaze returned to me. “I’m going to let her know that you’re the one who went looking for her.”

I froze, unsure if I wanted her to know that.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed.

Chavez shot him a look, shaking his head briefly. “Don’t worry. I’m going to lay it on thick how Mac was there looking out for her, because she was worried, because she cares, because she’s a good fucking friend, what Maren is very much not doing right now.”

“Don’t…” I started, but then paused because ugh. This whole situation was somewhat messed up. “I should just go down there and talk to her myself.”

Ryan moved forward a step, but Chavez said, “No. Let me handle her. She’s in a mood. Let me be the one she’s pissed at. She won’t get mad at you, Mac. I’ve never seen her mad or irritated at you. All the time we were hooking up, she never said anything negative about you. Even a normal frustration. If you go down there, she might not be able to help herself and I know her. She’ll regret later saying anything unkind toward you. She needs to fight.”

That made sense, but I frowned. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like not going to my friend even though everything he said was the smart thing to do. “I’m going to call her later, though. This afternoon.”

He nodded slowly. “Wait until after two.” He asked Ryan, “You’re heading to class soon?”

Ryan looked at the clock. “Yeah. I’ll go in early, take Mac to her class, and wait around until our class at ten. You’re skipping?”

Chavez gestured behind him with his head. “I’ll handle her first and go from there.”

The two jerked up their chins toward each other before Chavez left, shutting the door behind him.

Ryan eyed me, not moving from where he was still standing. “What’s in your head?”

I shook my head, lying down and curling on my side.

Ryan slid in next to me, pulling me over to him so our legs tangled together. His hand went through my hair. It was lighter again, so I was back to the golden blonde color that Willow and I shared for so much of our lives. I was getting older, but I wanted to believe that our faces would’ve remained identical always. Heart-shaped chins. Slender arms. Long legs. Though, I wanted to put more muscle on my frame. We used to be petite.

I closed my eyes now, savoring that touch from Ryan.

I said, almost in a whisper, “I feel bad that I’ve not been there for her.”

“Stop.” Ryan pulled me to him, rolling to his back and he tugged me on top of him. His one hand cupped the back of my head, our eyes meeting, as his other went to my hip, kneading. “You both got busy. She got a new boyfriend. And you were dealing with your stuff this summer. You can only do so much, Mac. Taking care of yourself and me is enough, I think.”

“I know, but—”

He shook his head. “No. Stop it.”

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