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I had to ask because it was now making me feel a certain way. “You? Are you one of them?”
He gazed down at me, his eyes darkening. “No,” he said softly again. He shifted so one of his hands rested on the side of my face, and he brushed some of my hair back. He did it so tenderly. Loving. “Remember that uncle I mentioned before? The one who could only live in regret?”
I nodded, seeing a different, more somber look come over him. “Yeah.”
“He killed himself and it made me rethink a lot of shit in life. It made my brothers and I decide to grow up differently.”
“Oh.”
“I’m okay. I am. I—I don’t want to get into all of that, but I was just saying that it made me look at life differently. My brothers and I are close. I don’t know if we would’ve been otherwise.” His gaze slipped to the side.
I reached up, touching the side of his face. “Hey.”
He looked back, his eyes warming.
I said, lightly. “I’m glad you have a good relationship with your brothers.”
“Me too.” He grinned, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “After that article came out, you and I haven’t really talked about us.”
My chest swelled up.
He wanted to have that conversation now?
Was it too late to call Mac up for another drive around town in our yeti and unicorn costumes?
“You look so panicked.” He’d been watching my face.
I made it go blank before—fuck it. I let him see my fear. That was the whole theme here, being authentic and shit. No more running. No more hiding. No more going numb. “I know we started this whole thing, you and me, and it was supposed to be fun. Light and fun, and no strings. But I saw you those three times and—” I tried looking away.
He tipped my head right back, his palm cupping the side of my face.
It felt so warm. He felt so warm.
I drew that in and let it steady me. “I can’t do the no strings again.” Oh, boy. The tears were coming back. I tried blinking them away. “It has to be exclusive or…” My heart was pounding so hard, so loud. “Or I can’t do this with you. I feel like I should apologize for this change, but I’m not going to apologize. It’s how I feel and I have to be true to how I feel. I’m standing my ground, in my truth, or whatever that saying is. In the sand of truth or—fuck if I know. You know what I mean.”
“You’re standing your ground?” His voice came out in a low growl.
Oh, God. That wasn’t good.
I gulped. “Yep. Still standing in the sand of trust, or tree of truth, or—shit!”
“You’re firm on that. That’s what you’re saying?”
My eyes met his. “Yeah. As firm as your dick when you’re railing me.”
His entire face twitched before he cursed under his breath. “Jesus Christ, Maren. You drive me fucking crazy.”
My heart was going to be ripped to pieces. I felt the first tear coming.
He suddenly rolled us in his bed, with me on top, with my legs straddling him, and he shoved down his pants, bringing me on top of him. And because we’d had sex not long ago, I hadn’t pulled on my panties, so when he pulled me down, he thrust up into me.
I cried out from how quick it happened, and then I moaned because holy damn, that felt really good. “What does this mean?”
A savage growl burst from him as he held my hips down and started thrusting up into me.
Christ. I was bouncing. My tits were going everywhere, but he caught one in his teeth, biting down on me. I screamed, arching my back. Hot pleasure surged through me, coating me.
I had no idea what was happening. My mind was scrambled, but we were having sex and Cris was really worked up, going at me in a frenzy.
