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I had skills, but they wouldn’t have been on Ben’s level. He got the shit beat out of him every Saturday night for entertainment. If he took the beatings, he learned how to give them.
Sweat trickled down my spine.
Whatever I was going to do, I needed to do it soon.
Ben was peering at me, solemnly. He wasn’t blinking. “Do you know what I’m saying to you?”
I drew in a breath, but something switched in me. If he was going to kill me, I was going to take him with me. If he was going to try and kill Vicky and Howard, I’d fight like hell. He messed up.
His head twitched, seeing my change.
“I don’t care what you’re saying.”
He snarled.
I took a big step backwards.
His eyes flicked to my feet.
“I told you my rules about that name. Ben died in that river, Billie. I’m only—”
“I don’t care,” I clipped out, again. Another step backwards. “You messed up, Ben.”
Another step. I was almost to the door.
His eyes bulged out.
I said, my voice rising, “You caught me off guard. I needed to process that you’re alive. You gave that to me when you talked to me. You let me hear you. In doing so, I made a few decisions.”
One last step, and I was outside. My pulse was in my eardrums.
Ben’s eyes narrowed to slits. His entire face twisted from fury. “Stop moving, Billie. I mean it.”
“Or what?” I lifted my chin. “You’ll do what, Ben?”
A light turned on in his gaze, and I knew what he was going to do. I read his intent as he started to go back.
“If you harm one more hair on either my mother or my father, I will take that knife and I will gut you with it.” I meant it, every fucking word. I let him see it too. I wasn’t scared anymore. I wouldn’t be intimated anymore. There would be no more threats either. I was done being anyone’s target or obsession or pawn.
I was done with it all.
He froze at my words. “Your mother?”
That’s what got him?
More sweat ran down my spine because this was it. I wouldn’t let him hurt the people I loved and that was all he was here to do. No one else was coming to our rescue. It was just me, and I had no weapons. Howard’s guns were locked away. Ben would be on me if I even took a step in their direction.
The only weapon I could see was that knife, though I’m sure he had more somewhere.
That meant it would be a fight to get the knife away from him, and remembering how he took that hit from Brett at the gas station, what Travis had said about him having real fighting experience, let alone what Ben himself said about how he grew up.
I could only focus on what I had: I had everything to lose. That’s what I had.
I tipped my head back and drew in a breath, then I had to laugh a little.
“What?” Ben frowned.
“It’s just a dichotomy. I’ve wished all my life that I still had my mom and my brother. And I also feared this very scenario, of a killer showing up and going after the people I love. The fact that my wish came true and delivered my worst fear is a real fuck you from the universe.” I had nothing else in me, no more bullshit to summon.
