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It wouldn’t surprise me if she was into a man tying her down, but it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t give up the control I desperately clung to.
My best friend’s words pestered me on repeat. She had spent all afternoon trying to convince me that it wouldn’t be so bad to be tied up, and I had argued back against every one of her reasons. “You’re a powerful woman, Chels, and sometimes, it’s okay to give up that power. You might like it,” she had said. “Just look it up. You can take the quiz.”
Bridget sent me a link to what she described asthequiz before we had even left the office. I looked at my phone on the counter, opened to the screen with the link, but I couldn’t click on it. Instead, I took another long drink of my second glass of wine. When I swallowed, my phone vibrated, and a new message popped up on the screen.
BRIDGET: So did you take it?
ME: No.
BRIDGET: Don’t be so stubborn. Just take the damn quiz.
I rolled my eyes, huffing when I set my phone down and reached for my glass. I took another drink, then another. When the glass was gone, I reached for my phone again. I hesitated to pick it back up, considering leaving it there and going to bed, but I quickly snatched it off the counter before I could change my mind. My thumb hovered over the link, and I took a deep breath before clicking it.
A black screen covered my phone, covered by a small pop-up confirming I was old enough to be there. I waited for the second pop-up that asked me if I wassureI wanted to enter the site, but it never came. Instead, a dark website opened.
Down the side were links to articles likeSafe Impact Play for BeginnersandConnecting Pain and Pleasure, and in the center of the screen sat a red button.What would you like?
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I grumbled under my breath as I clicked on the button.
A new screen opened with a long list of questions, asking me to rank my answer on a scale. I read the first one. “Would you like to be controlled in bed?” I scoffed, ranking the answer lower.
When the second question asked me how I felt about wearing a collar, I laughed. I poured another glass of wine, feeling silly while I went through the list. The questions seemed mostly random. Would I move to a new city to be with a significantother? Would I wear something if a partner liked it? Do I depend on having things under control?
I reached the bottom of the screen at the same time that I reached the bottom of my wineglass. The screen with my results spun, and I reached for the bottle. I tipped it, but only a dribble leaked into the bottom of my glass, the last drop clinging to the mouth of the bottle. I set it down, eyeing the other bottles in the rack hanging on the wall when the page with my results finished loading.
You’re submissive to the core!
I laughed, throwing my head back and suddenly feeling silly for taking the quiz at all. “There’s no way that’s right!”
I skimmed the article. I didn’t like to be told what to do, but I was good at following directions, and I liked it when everything was in order. I followed rules to a fault sometimes.Being submissive doesn’t mean you aren’t powerful.
My stomach flipped. “It’s just some stupid quiz,” I said, standing and grabbing the bottle of wine I had been eyeing.
When I sat back down at the counter, I pulled the cork from the bottle with a quiet pop before I filled my glass and picked up my phone. I read the results of the quiz again.It’s not unusual for a control freak to be submissive.
My chuckle sounded as nervous as I felt, and butterflies fought their way out of my chest. Then, Graham’s voice echoed in my head.Are you really controlling?
I couldn’t gulp the wine fast enough to get the flutters to calm down, and when the glass was gone, I slammed it onto the counter. As I replayed Graham asking if I wanted him to tie me to the bed, I felt a rush of arousal instead of shock or disgust.
I closed the page, searching for another quiz and opening it. I confirmed I was old enough to know better than to take a second multiple choice quiz after midnight on a weeknight. I did it anyways, though, clicking on answer after answer. Whenthe page with the results spun, I tapped my fingers against the counter.
Sexy submissive!
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I poured another glass of wine I didn’t need to drink and read the article that explained how I’m the type of woman who likes to have a partner take care of me, support me, and of course, tell me what to do in the bedroom.
My head spun, partially from the wine but definitely from the articles. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temple, but the thoughts only got louder, and I sucked in a deep breath.
“You can’t believe everything you read on the internet, Chelsea!”
Don’t knock it ‘till you try it.
Chapter 7
Graham
“Are you about ready?” the show’s producer asked, sticking his head out of the studio. He looked around, noting I was alone. “Is Chelsea coming?”
I looked at the clock on my phone and shrugged. “She was supposed to be here by now.” I cleared my throat when thewords caught, noting the lack of messages. I debated calling her again, knowing already that she wasn’t going to answer.
