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I have no idea. I wasn’t thinking at all last night, so I certainly wasn’t thinking ahead. I know Jonathan Granville is, according to all who know him,nota girlfriend guy. We don’t evenlikeeach other.
“You’re pale,” he states, drawing me out of my thoughts.
“What?”
He continues to watch me as he soaps up his pecs. “You feel okay?”
If perpetually feeling certain I’m about to throw up is feeling okay, I’m great.
I don’t say that. I just nod.
His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t ask again.
I get lost in my thoughts while he rinses off, but before I’ve managed to shampoo, Jonathan grabs my arm, turning me around and pushing me closer to the wall.
My heart stalls and I look back at him—or I start to, but he stops me, grabbing my jaw and forcing my gaze back to the wall.
“Don’t look at me. Don’t turn around.”
My heart thuds.
“Plant your hands on the wall and spread your legs.”
I don’t want to, but I do anyway.
I want to tell him last night was a one-time thing, but I can’t find the words.
I also know there’s no chance in hell he snuck a condom into this shower and I didn’t notice. When he pushes his cock into me, it feels a little different. It pulls at my skin as he pushes deeper, makes the tender spots hurt a little more.
He’s not using protection.
My heart slams in my chest. I know I should tell him to stop, but I told him last night to ignore me if I tried to stop him, and—
I gasp, losing track of my train of thought as he slams into me. I reposition my shaky hand on the slippery wall. I close my eyes and try not to think as he pounds into me, try not to feel deeply afraid when he shoves in and groans, and I know he’s coming.
Inside me.
What the hell is he thinking?
I’m relieved and terrified at the same time.
I didn’t invite him to use me a second time. Didn’t want him to.
But now that he has, he’s blurred a line for me, a line I hadn’t even thought about blurring.
My legs are a little shaky when I step out of the shower, him right behind me. We both rinsed off again after he fucked me, but we ran out of hot water before I could wash my hair.
Once we’re both dressed, we head downstairs. Jonathan messes around on his phone while I silently move around the kitchen, preparing a breakfast for two.
I don’t want to eat so I don’t make as much for myself, but I need to eatsomething.I’ll need strength to get through today, and honestly, I don’t know when I’ll eat again.
When Jonathan told me to make sure I had all the electronics I needed in my bedroom, I reminded myself I needed to go back to the bathroom for my purse before we left.
But by the time I got into the bathroom, I forgot. Holding thoughts in my head was like trying to hold water in a hair net.
Since I don’t have my purse, I don’t have my phone or my wallet. I don’t even have my car keys.
Shit.
