Page 159 of Surrender


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I don’t know why, I don’t understand what’s happening, but this is the kind of deserted, scary place you take a person you’re going to kill, not someone you want to have a romantic weekend with.

“Please just let me out of the car. I don’t know what’s going on here, I don’t know where Silvan is… I don’t believe he’s okaywith this, even if he did hear that phone call. And it was a fake phone call!” I add, realizing I haven’t defended myself yet. “I wasn’t really going to meet anybody. I just thought Silvan was spying on me, and it made me feel some type of way, so I wanted to know for sure if he was. I thought if I made a fake phone call to this guy I had a history with, it would make him mad enough to like… throw me around the bedroom during sex, but I didn’t think he would justnot even fucking mention itand then sentence me to be murdered, which it feels a little like is what’s happening here. Call Silvan, let me tell him what I did. It was dumb, and I’m sorry, and I’ll never do it again.”

Joker’s smirking by the time I’m done begging for my life, but he doesn’t say anything. He just keeps driving slowly down the path into the woods.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

I don’t want to die.

I haven’t even lived yet. I’ve wasted the last couple of years imprisoned by trauma. I haven’t even had a chance to fall in love.

I’m angry with myself for letting Dylan hold me back the way he did. I’ve done plenty of coping and surviving since he pushed my life off course, but damn, I wish I would have done more healing. I need more time. I want to be brave.

There’s a break in the darkness up ahead.

I see a small structure with windows lit by an orangish glow. By my standards, it’s a small house, but not by Silvan’s. I doubt he has ever stepped foot in a place like this once in his whole life.

This is a creepy cabin in the woods.

This is definitely a place for torture or murdering someone where no one can hear them scream. Not a place for romance.

“Please don’t kill me.”

“I’m not here to kill you. As far as I know anyway. If Iamhere to kill you, it won’t be before you’ve seen Silvan and had a chance to plead your case. The guy’s fucking obsessed with you, so I like your chances.” He puts the car in park, then kills the engine.

“We’re getting out here? At the creepy murder cabin?”

“That’s our destination,” he confirms.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me. Idon’twant to be murdered. I RSVP’d for staying alive. You can take me back to the main house.”

Amusement tugs at his lips. I think it’s genuine, but he’s getting out of the car, so I can’t see his eyes to be sure.

His murdery dead eyes.

I pout. “I don’t want to get murdered by him.”

He opens my door a couple of seconds later. He doesn’t have my weekend bag, which further worries me. If I’m staying in this horror movie cabin with Silvan, he should be bringing my things. Silvan told me to remember to bring my books so I could do homework, which strongly suggested I would make it home alive, but Silvan would definitely think about small details like that. If he planned to murder someone but didn’t want them to know yet, he woulddefinitelytell them something like that to keep them from getting suspicious.

He’s so smart. I really like that about him. Why didn’t I tell him that?

He probably wouldn’t have let his friend murder me if I told him that.

He’s not going to let this guy kill you, Sophie. Calm down.

But it’s hard because the guy implied he wasn’t 100 percentsurehe wasn’t here to kill me, and again, he is not getting my bag out of his trunk. Is he just going to take my stuff? Is he going to put rocks in my bag and toss it in the river where they’ll dump my body later? Maybe have a nice bonfire with it so there isn’t so much evidence?

Thissucks.

Once he’s freed me from the handcuffs, I grab my purse. He grabs my arm and hauls me out of the car.

I want to tell him I can get out of the car myself, but it sounds like something a “troublemaker” might say. He doesn’t let go once I’m out anyway, so I don’t think he’d care. He still looks bored to death by me. He’s probably just afraid if he lets me go, I’ll make a mad dash into the woods, and he’ll have to hunt me down.

Yikes. That’s a terrifying enough thought that I wouldn’t do it even if Ididn’tthink I’d surely get lost in the forest and die of hypothermia.

Every scenario seems to end really badly for me. I hate it here.

I’m going to be so mad if I played by all his rules and still end up floating down the Merrimack, but I’m holding on to hope this cabin is lit up because Silvan is inside. If Silvan is inside, I’ll be okay. I can convince him not to hurt me even if he wants to right now. We have a system. I’m excellent at bargaining with him. I like to think he wouldn’t go to this much effort, including his scary friend in the whole thing, just to put me in a position where I have to plead for his mercy again, but it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

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