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Ellis
This is not how I envisioned my night going—or my life going, for that matter. Of course I know Brandon has been acting shady for the better part of a year, but I thought we had just hit a rough patch in our relationship. All relationships do at some point, right? Even those adorable couples who have been together for fifty-plus years have had years where they’ve spent more time arguing than loving. I’m sure of it.
Brandon and I have been together for five years. Six, if you count that whole year of us telling everyone that we were “just friends,” when I was pining over him and his bad-boy attitude and just waiting for him to decide if he wanted to be in a committed relationship or not. That whole situation-ship should have been my first sign to see myself out, but I’ve never been one to run away from a challenge. Now I’m thinking I should learn when to see the signs for what they are. I’m a fool. Everyone knows you can’t change someone by dating them, and I’ve just learned that lesson the hard way.
My eyes are glazing over as I stare past the phone clutched in my shaking hand. I can’t bear to look at the picture one second more. I shove the phone back into Valerie’s waiting hand as she rubs my back with her other hand. She’s such a good friend, and I hate that I’m ruining this day for her with all my drama. Drama that I didn’t create, but mine nonetheless.
“Are you okay, Ellis?” she asks in a soothing tone that reminds me so much of a mother trying to calm a tantrum-y toddler. She has always been so good at making sure everyone around her is comfortable, but it’s her twenty-seventh birthday. She even got the hilarious Charlotte Lucas birthday cake with thePride and Prejudicemovie quote on it. (You know the one.) This night should be all about celebrating her and having fun. She shouldn’t be worried about me right now.
“Yeah…well, no. But I will be. What’s the name of the bar he’s playing at again?” I turn to her and ask. I straighten my spine, refusing to mope in the middle of this busy restaurant.
“Wiley’s. It’s all the way in Clifton, though. Do you think you should drive there…in this state?” she asks, waving her hand in front of my face that probably isn’t as composed as I’m hoping it is. She watches me for a moment and then comes to a decision. “I’ll come with you,” she says as she starts to gather her purse from the floor beside her.
“No! Enjoy the rest of your birthday. Don’t worry about me.” I push her back down by her shoulder as she tries to stand from her seat. “I’m fine,” I say in a wobbly voice, betraying the fact that I am not at all fine. She opens her mouth to argue, but I narrow my eyes at her, daring her to say anything else. Thankfully, she takes the hint and keeps her skinny butt planted in her seat.
I turn to the rest of the girls at the table, who have all gathered to celebrate Valerie’s birthday. They’ve all been doingtheir best to pretend like they haven’t been listening to my world crumble around me for the past five minutes. They suck at pretending, but it’s fine. They would all find out eventually. Everyone in this tiny town is going to find out.
Oh joy.
“Umm, something’s come up, and I have to go,” I say to them. They feign their best shocked expressions, but on my way out the door, one of them yells, “Destroy the jerk and leave no evidence!”
Another calls out, “Let me know if you need to borrow a shovel!” It gives me enough confidence to walk out with my head held high. Girlfriends are the best!
As I stomp to my car in the packed parking lot of the pub I was supposed to be spending my evening at, I can’t get the picture of Brandon—my Brandon—sitting in a dark corner booth with his arm wrapped around some leggy blonde girl. He’s playing with his band tonight—or at least that was what he told me he was doing. Now I’m not so sure if that was the truth. There are always groupies at his shows, and they always try to get his attention. I’ve seen him look plenty of times, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. But I’ve learned it just comes with the territory. I’ve gotten used to it over the years—or so I’ve tried very hard to convince myself that I have. He never gave me reason to think he would pursue any of them… before tonight, that is.
He’s not famous, per se, but he has a huge following on social media, and his shows sell out most of the time, especially when he’s playing here in Texas. I’ve been with him from the very beginning, when his band was just getting started. I listened to the first song they ever wrote together, sitting on his grungy, stained couch in his parents’ basement. I was with them in the recording studio when they recorded their first album, which was a bit of a flop. I even sang backupon one of the tracks of their second album when the girl who was supposed to do it got food poisoning from bad shrimp and couldn’t make it. And this is the thanks I get for being such a supportive girlfriend.
I used to go to all his shows before my life got busy with a full-time job. I probably would have been there tonight if I hadn’t been at Valerie’s birthday dinner. Thank goodness for Val’s older brother, Logan. There’s no telling how much longer his little fling would have gone on if he hadn’t seen Brandon and Ms. Blondie together tonight. As much as I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have put up with his nonsense for much longer, I know that I was willing to put up with almost anything to finally get a ring on my finger. Good grief, that sounds pathetic. I never wanted to be so desperate. How did I become that girl?
I throw my purse on the passenger seat and speed out of the parking lot. My hands are shaking so much it’s a miracle I can even drive. I should plan what I’m going to say before I get there so I don’t end up standing in front of them all tongue-tied and pitiful.
“Hey, home-wrecker!!!” I scream alone in my car. No, no, no. That’s not right. I can’t blame this on her…or at least, notcompletelyon her. What if she’s as much in the dark as I am? She might think he’s single. He hasn’t really posted about me on his socials much—or at all. Gosh, I really am an idiot. How did I not see it? That should have been the tenth red flag at least.
I could saunter in all sexy, like a model, and have a seat at their table nonchalantly before saying something like, “Wow, Brandon. What a surprise seeing you here. Why don’t you introduce me to your little friend?” I can just picture the shocked and horrified look he’ll have on his face when he realizes what’s happening. He’ll push her aside, and he’ll beg andplead for me to listen to whatever lame excuse he’ll have for me. But it won’t matter at all. Every word he utters will fall on deaf ears because I’ll be too busy walking away. I’ll flip my hair and never look back. It will be perfect.
A slow smile spreads across my face, and I grip the steering wheel tighter as I drive out of town. Clifton is forty-five minutes away. He must have thought it was far enough away that no one we know would be in the crowd since most people in Oak Grove have heard him play hundreds of times and don’t travel to see him anymore. Well, tonight is different.
My emotions spiral all over the place during the drive. One minute, I’m terrified and can hardly breathe, and the next second, I’m sobbing and heartbroken. Then, an Alanis Morrisette song comes on the radio, and I turn into an angry and vengeful feminist.
Screw men! Who needs them?! Definitely not me!
I eventually pull into the parking lot of the bar. It’s packed…because of course it is. Everyone just can’t wait to listen to Brandon Marsh sing about love and heartbreak. And I can hear the music all the way out here in the back of the parking lot. That’s Brandon’s voice I hear through the speakers. I hate that he has such a deep, beautiful voice. It’s soulful and the tiniest bit raspy. Why can’t he sound like a screeching banshee just this once? It would make it so much easier to hate his lying guts. My hands are trembling, so I shake them out and do some breathing exercises to gather my wits about me.
I’m a goddess. A lioness. A warrior queen. Nothing scares me…except for spiders. But they have eight legs, and some of them are venomous. Well, roaches are pretty scary too. I mean, they’re huge, and they can fly. Something that massive and disgusting shouldn’t possess wings.
But I digress. Other than those two things, I am absolutely fearless.
I walk to the front door of the bar on shaky legs, but it’s not because I’m afraid. It’s only because I had to leave the pub before my food came out, and now my blood sugar is crashing. I wonder if they have peanuts inside for me to snack on.
I am not afraid.
I open the door to the bar and pull out my I.D. for the bouncer. He gives it a quick glance and then waves me on through. I turn the corner, and the sight of the crowd dancing and cheering in front of the stage is overwhelming. He’s up there, front and center, looking down on his adoring fans as if he’s the king of the world. He has no clue that I know his dirty little secret.
I spot Valerie’s brother, Logan, hanging out in the back of the crowd with his arms crossed over his chest, looking almost as angry as I feel.
“Is she still here?” I ask as I step up beside him. He startles for a moment until he realizes it’s just me. He gives me a pitying look, so I look away from him and look at the crowd of people instead. Pity is not what I need right now, because it makes me want to cry. I cannot let Brandon see me cry. I need someone to cheer me on. There will be time for coddling and pity parties later. Maybe I should have let Valerie come with me.
