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That’s how I ended up here in the basement of the Sigma Zeta Tau house along with thirty to thirty-five of my closest friends in the Greek community. Today was an away game and we didn’t travel with the team so it’s been a rare Saturday that I’ve had off to relax. And by relax I mean be riddled with anxiety and worried all day that I would run into Brad tonight. While I may keep seeing his picture all over campus, other than in class we haven’t run into each other at any events. That could be in part to Meg and Lola who have been running interference for me. They see who’s at events, text me the coast is clear, and then I show up.
Now with two coconut rum and Sprites in me, I’m feeling loose and dancing. I don’t care who sees me at this point. I’m just here to let loose and have a good time. Surrounded by my girls we dance and twirl around the basement. At one point a beer gets sloshed on my pants, but I don’t care, I just keep dancing. Another drink gets handed to me and I consume it. I’m finally unwinding, and it’s been a long time since that happened. I don’t know whochanges the music, but the upbeat notes ofLose Controlby Missy Elliott fall away and are replaced with the slow notes ofWe Belong Togetherby Mariah Carey.I can’t dance to thisis my instant thought but when a large hand the size of a frying pan wraps around my waist and pulls me back into them I’m acutely aware of who it is.
I spin around and look up to see Andy is bent over, leaning into me. My vision may be a little fuzzy, but he looks good tonight. He’s wearing a green polo shirt to match his green cast. He got hurt in last week’s game and had to sit on the sidelines today. I’m confused about him being here though. “Aren’t you supposed to be like three hours away playing our arch-nemesis?” One of my eyebrows arches up in question.
“Babe it’s past one a.m. We got back a few hours ago and I’ve been here for at least half an hour watching you shake that fine ass.”
He’s such a flirt. I haven’t seen him since spring formal except for on the field. We’ve seen each other a few times around campus and always wave but he usually has a flock of girls around him and with everything going on, I’ve been staying in a lot too. It’s good to see him though. Feel his big, strong arms around me as we slowly sway back and forth to the music. Am I swaying to the music or is the room moving? I think I might be a little drunk at this point.
I lay my head on his broad chest because suddenly I’m so tired. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him. He’s so warm and he smells so good. He’s like a big cuddle bug but with amazing abs because I’ve seen those out on the practice field. I blink and look back up at him and before I can tell him how good he smells, he tips my chin up with his forefinger and his surprisingly soft lips are pressing into mine. His kisses are familiar and comfortable and because I’ve had more than one too many drinks tonight I make my second bad decision in a month and kiss him right back.
Fuck me. This is death. I am going to die. My head is pounding. My limbs feel heavy and all light makes me acutely aware of every hair on my head. I remember coming home when the sun was coming up. What I didn’t remember until round three of vomiting was fucking Andy in the bathroom of the Sigma house. Nor did I initially remember how I got home until Meg, Lola, and Erica all stumbled into my bedroom to wake me up and tell me all the things I couldn’t remember from the night before. Now here we are on a Sunday evening, nursing our hangovers trying to piece together the night before because we all got too shit-faced to remember on our own.
I may have been three sheets to the wind last night but I’m also ninety-nine percent sure only one other person besides Andy knows that wehooked upin the bathroom. That one person happens to be Erica, who’s sitting across from me on the floor cross-legged, staring at me like she knows it’s our secret. Between the four of us and our two liter of ginger ale and crackers we’ve been sitting and laying like sloths and moaning in agony for hours. All the while complaining about guys and school.
Poor Meg regales us with the latest Justin news because he’s been wishy-washy with her lately and mentioned getting back together. What’s really happening is he tells her one thing and then one of us will see him on campus with another girl. She just needs to cut the cord with him but I get it, she spent a really long time with him and wasn’t prepared to see it end when he broke it off. Apparently, we are all doomed to find men who don’t want any kind of commitment come senior year of college.
“You know what we should do?” Erica speaks up to the group.
“Oh my God, please don’t shout. My head is pounding,” Lola moans beside her.
Erica gives Lola her best stink eye. “I didn’t shout. This is my normal tone and volume. Take another Tylenol.” I would laugh at her complete deadpan delivery but I’m too afraid it would increase the pressure on my head. She clears her throat, a clear indication she’s annoyed but she continues. “We should take all the toilet paper we can find, go over to the Lambda house, and make their entire front lawn a mess. Make it so that they have to clean their front lawn all night long or first thing tomorrow morning before class.”
“We have to be at our chapter meeting in less than an hour,” I remind her and the others in case they forgot. All three collectively groan.
“Screw it. I’m in but if the cops come I can’t get arrested for that shit again!” Lola sits up from the couch. “I’ll go put on my black hoodie and black pants. Those douche canoes won’t know what hit’em.”
“Hell yes,” Meg says. “It’s about time someone got those fuckers. I hope Justin has to clean it up by himself. I’ll go change too.”
I swing myself up from the couch much too quickly and the room slightly spins. I close my eyes to make it stop. “Are we really going to ditch the meeting, dress all in black and then sneak over there like some criminals and TP their house and lawn?”
“Yes.” All three of them answer in unison.
I shrug my shoulders. “Alright, fuck it. Let’s take my car since it’s black.”
An hour later and a Costco-sized package of toilet paper later the three of us crowd into my thankfully black Grand Am anddrive the few blocks over to the Lambda house. It’s nine p.m. and most Greek houses hold their chapter meetings on Sunday nights. More than likely all the guys are buried somewhere deep inside the house either watching Sunday night football or in their meeting. Either way, I don’t care what they’re doing as long as they don’t come outside, find us throwing toilet paper all over their lawn, and call the police.
I’m too fragile to go to jail, I can’t be caged. Plus, I don’t want to get caught because if we do we will never hear the end of it not only from the Lambda house but our own sorority. Meg explained on the way over that a few years ago one of the houses got TP’d on frat row on the university’s alumni weekend. The university threw a huge fit and agreed that if anyone was caught in the act again they would pull the Greek house’s charter and no longer be allowed to be on campus. To say a lot is riding on us not getting caught is an understatement.
We park a few houses down just to be on the safe side. All of us get out of the car dressed in head-to-toe black. I’ve even got a black beanie on to cover up my blonde hair. Meg has a matching one covering her red hair. Lola went so far as to change into black boots, clearly she’s committed to this mission. Each armed with multiple packs of toilet paper, we silently and quickly make our way up the street, all of us keeping a lookout for anyone’s prying eyes. When we reach the house we duck down. The house is set back on the street with two steps going up, giving us enough cover to take in the house. Seeing no one in sight we silently make our way up the lawn and begin streaming toilet paper everywhere.
It’s amazing how fast four girls can go through thirty-six rolls of toilet paper. The lawn looks like it snowed, that’s how covered it is. The two large oak trees have so much streaming down from it they could be entered in a Christmas tree decoration challenge, notto mention the house. Who knew Erica had such a good throwing arm? She was able to get several rolls all the way up to the roof so it’s streaming down like it’s been tented for termites.
We can’t take the time to admire our work for fear of getting caught so we rush off, leaving a mess in our wake. We all run back to the car and I peel out from the curb. We make it a few blocks before we all start busting out in laughter and celebrate the fact that we didn’t get caught. I laugh so hard I have tears streaming down my face and for the first time in a long time I forget about everything else.
CROWNING A NEW KING
October 29, 2005
The air is no longer chilly, it’s downright cold. Yet, here I stand along with eight other girls wearing a sequined, one-piece bathing suit. Night football games always hit differently. I love the glow of the lights, being able to see all the faces in the crowd and just the general lead-up to the evening. Tonight’s game also has the privilege of being the University’s Homecoming game. During half-time, they will announce the Homecoming King and Queen, acknowledge the court who was nominated, and point out key alumni in attendance.
It’ll also put an end to theVote for Brad Matthews!campaign posters I’ve been inundated with for far too long now. While he’s been campaigning to win I’ve been lobbying for anyonebuthim to win. Maybe it’s a little mean-spirited but my heart has slowly been breaking as the days pass and not a single word is uttered between us. Either way, I’ve thrown my support behind everyone else. The sorority has officially supported Chadd from Sigma. I know he got my vote. Lola’s not so much, considering she’s still bitter about the rusty bolts that got put on her car from the license plate incident.
The game passes uneventfully. It’s a complete blowout by half-time. We are up by eighteen points so a lot of the student section has disappeared. They’re probably all in the parking lot drinking since the stadium is alcohol-free. All of the majorettes are getting into line on the field to watch and support the final minutes of the special half-time. The President of the University comes forward and announces all of the Homecoming Court. They announce the Homecoming Queen and it’s one of the pledged members of another sorority that Mu doesn’t get along with. I can literally hear the grumbling in the crowd from all of the other sororities.
I have to remind myself to keep a smile plastered on my face as they begin to announce Homecoming King. As the envelope is opened, it’s as if time slows down and I can see everything play out in slow motion. People turn to Brad and begin clapping him on the shoulder. A white and green sash is thrown over his shoulder and he all but pageant waves to the crowd. I think something snaps inside of me at the sight of all this. The school says the award is based on leadership qualities, school spirit and integrity but I call that a load of bullshit. It’s a popularity contest and we all know it. Before I can even stop myself, I realize that I’m yelling out, “Recount!” and “Chadd was robbed!”
Coach Kelly starts waving frantically from the sidelines in what only I can guess is an effort to get me to stop. It’s at this moment that I think about how she told me to eat an apple for lunch and proceeded to take the rest of the food off my plate. Screw you, Kelly. I’ve had enough of this shit for the day. I give her the finger. People start to turn and look from their places on the field. Alumni that are so old, I’m shocked they can even hear me, the Homecoming Court, and even Brad himself begin to turn.
