AllFreeNovel
Share Us
seven
. . .
Jayson
She is so beautiful. The glow of her cheeks, the way she stares at me, her chest rising quickly as she tries to hide the way I make her feel. It’s written all over her face and though she does her best to pretend what we had was nothing more than a young love, I know the truth.
She couldn’t hide it then, and she can’t hide it now.
“You’re right,” I say taking another step in her direction. “This last thirteen years, all the choices we’ve made, whether they be good or bad, they’ve made us into the people we are today. But it doesn’t change the fact that I wish more than anything you were right by my side for all those choices.”
“Don’t,” she shakes her head.
“Don’t tell you the truth?” Regret rushes at me like a tidal wave, but only because seeing her now, this close, kills me. She is so close that I can reach out and touch her but know it’s the last thing she needs.
“Don’t show up here expecting to say all the right things and for me to fall for them.”
When she steps back creating some space between us, I want to grab hold and keep her near, but I don’t.
“I’m only being honest. I was always honest. I never told you things you wanted to hear, I never lied.” We both agreed that the distance while I was away at medical school and she was back here was too hard. “We both thought ending it was for the best. But I’m not going to start lying to you now and tell you that over all these years I haven’t thought about you. I’m not going to lie and tell you that no matter how I tried to move on from you no one else ever compared.”
“Stop,” she holds up her hand and looks down at her feet.
“Zoey,” against my better judgment I reach out and hook her pinky with my own. I don’t tug, but simply feel her skin against mine, hers tightens around mine and she looks at our hands. It’s minimal contact but that little touch felt like the greatest connection. “We are going to see each other in town, the last thing I want is to pretend we don’t know one another. I know you Zoe,” she is amazing and kind.
“You know the old me,” when her head lifts and our eyes connect, I swear I fill my knees grow weak. Her eyes are glossy and being this close I can see how tired they seem. “I’m married, I have two kids, and years under my belt that have made the girl I once was disappear.”
“I don’t believe that.” I want to say more but I wait for her to tell me the things I already know. Or I hope she does.
“My life is so upside-down right now, its chaotic and if I’m being honest a complete mess.” She swallows hard. “I know youknow,” she takes a deep breath and it’s then she releases my hold. I hate the loss of her touch. “Magnolia Grove keeps no secrets. I know people gossip about poor Zoey and her girls. How I’ve managed to make a real wreck of my life. I’ve dug myself a hole and I’m rapped in that hell with no end in sight.”
“I wouldn’t consider his mistakes your wrong doings. He is the one losing here Zoey not you.”
Her lower lip trembles and damn it if I don’t feel it deep in my chest.
“I don’t know him, and I don’t want to.” She looks at me. “What I do know is he was the luckiest bastard in Alabama and was too stupid to figure that out. That’s on him, not you.”
“Always saying the right things, but never in the right place,” she says this low but I get what she is saying. All those times in the beginning we would talk for hours and I’d tell her how I loved her and that we’d build a life once I graduated.
Those calls were what kept me going at first, when I wanted to give up. Being so far away from home, from my brother and grandparents, especially from her, it was hard.
But those calls got further and further apart until they finally faded and we both realized we were fooling ourselves that long distance for so many years could work.
“I never stopped thinking about you,” I tell her. “But you know yourself holding on only made things worse for the both of us.”
We are both silent for a few seconds, her lost in thought and me wanting more than anything to feel her touch again.
“But you are wrong about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You are still that beautiful girl that lit me up from head to toe with one smile.” I know I am pushing my limits but it was always like this. It’s one of the many reasons I stayed away when I did revisit. I have never had the ability to hold back my feelings when I was near her. And until now every time I was home, she was attached, married, pregnant, living outside of town with her happy little family, or so I thought.
Now here I am, spilling everything I’ve spent years harboring, the very second I am alone with her.
“I can’t do this with you,” she starts to turn around and I grab her wrist holding her in place. “Jayson?—”
“Don’t call me that.”
