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My glass gets drained and is filled again.
And I keep drinking.
Until I’m not thinking about my mom anymore.
Until I’m not thinking about anything.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HOLDEN
Apounding headache is the first thing I’m aware of. I roll over in bed, my eyes blinking open blearily as a jackhammer continues working on my skull.
For the first time, I’m not looking at a dark head of hair in bed beside me.
There are blonde strands spread across the pillow next to me.
Everything in me freezes, realization and dread trickling through me like a cold stream of water.
Fuck.
I emphasize each letter in my head, ratcheting the pounding in my head up to an intolerable degree.
The pain isn’t enough.
The wordfuckisn’t enough.
I can’t think and can barely breathe. It feels like a lead weight is resting on my chest, pushing down, down, down until there’s nothing left to demolish.
I squint around the room, trying to figure out where I am and look for clues about what might have happened.
There are pink curtains covering the windows and there’s a bunch of makeup on the table beside the bed.
I’m wearing boxers, which is a small relief. But the rest of my clothes are scattered on the rug, mingled with a lacy red bra and a black dress.
Panic heaves in my gut, making me feel like I’m going to puke. I sit up, scrubbing a hand across my face.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I can’t believe this is happening. Maybe this is a nightmare, and I’m about to wake up for real.
“Morning, Holden.”
My gaze snaps to the left, at the blonde who’s stretching and smiling sleepily at me. She’s pretty. Confident of it too, based on the way she’s flaunting her body.
Once upon a time, she was exactly the kind of girl I’d take upstairs at a party. Eager and hot.
She’s also completely naked. And she knows my name.
My heart takes an abrupt nosedive.
“Did we—” I clear my throat. I’m an atheist, but I send up a small prayer anyway. “Did we hook up last night?”
She raises one eyebrow. Then shakes her head. “No.”
