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“Okay, I think. Better than…it’s a lot to take in. If she keeps the baby, I’ll be an uncle. Harrison will be a dad.” I shake my head. “I’m still processing, I guess.” I pause. “She said you bought the test for her.”
“Yep. I ran into Mrs. Golden at the pharmacy. And then accidentally showed it to my mom.”
My eyes widen.
Cassia’s expression is wry. “I told them it wasn’t for me. But…youthought it was mine.”
I swallow, knowing she’ll read the truth on my face. “For a second, yesterday, yeah.”
“And you freaked out.”
“Only because of the math.”
Twin lines form between her eyes. “The math?”
“We were apart all summer, Cassia. If you just found out you were pregnant, it wouldn’t be mine.”
“You thought I’d do that?” Confusion has turned into hurt. A little anger.
“No. I wasn’t thinking straight, Cas. I wasn’t expecting… I walked into your apartment and there was a positive pregnancy test right in front of me, all of a sudden. I just…it caught me off guard.”
Understanding flashes across her face. “You’re the only guy I’ve ever been with,” she whispers.
I knew that already.
But it doesn’t temper the rush of relief and primal possessiveness from hearing her say it. It’s the biggest turn-on,knowing it’s a gift she’s given to me alone. Which makes me the biggest hypocrite in the world, considering I’ve been with other people and can’t say the same thing back.
I lean forward. “If we’d been together this summer, I wouldn’t have freaked out for a second.”
Cassia raises one eyebrow. “No?”
“No. I would have been thrilled.”
She snorts, then stabs her salad with a fork. “You’re just saying that because you freaked out and I brought it up.”
“Nah. I’m not.”
“We’re twenty-one, Holden. I’m planning on four years of vet school. You want to play basketball professionally. And you would bethrilledabout tackling parenthood?”
“I’m not saying the timing would be ideal. It would be hard. Challenging and stressful. But having a kid with you? I wouldn’t freak out about that. I would wish for that.”
A tiny smile appears on her face. “I can’t picture you with a baby. I didn’t even think you liked kids.”
“I would likeourkid.”
She rolls her eyes. “Pretty sure it would scream and cry like anyone else’s.”
“Yeah, probably.” I grin, then turn serious. “I mean it. If it happened…I want you to know I’d be more than okay with it. I hate that Sydney is going through this. That I can’t fix it for her. But if it had to happen, I wish it was with a guy who meant something to her. I know Baker is a decent dude. I know he won’t pressure her to end the pregnancy or ghost her and leave her to handle things herself. He’ll step up. But…” I exhale. “It’ll be about obligation and taking responsibility, not love. I mean, she hasn’t even told him.”
“It’s a lot to dump on someone. I know you feel like she—I—kept it from you, but she didn’t tell me right away. She’d been stressing about it on her own.”
I hesitate, not sure if I should voice the question. Then decide to go for it. “Who’s the first person you would tell? Honestly.”
She plays with the lettuce. “You,” she finally answers.
“You don’t have to say that just because—”
“No, I mean it. And you’re right. It would be different for us. I’d be nervous to tell you, knowing what impact it would have on our lives. But that’s also why I would talk to you first.”
