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I didn’t tell her I was coming because I didn’t want her to ask why. Didn’t want to get into anything I came to tell her over the phone.
“Okay…”
“Can I buy you some brunch?” I ask. “Your choice.”
“I didn’t think you knew what brunch was.” She hikes her oversized bag up on one shoulder. “Is Cassia with you?”
“No. She’s in Pembrooke to see her family.”
“If you’d told me, I could have taken the train to see you guys. You didn’t need to come here.”
“It’s not that far.”
Sydney raises one eyebrow but doesn’t argue. “There’s a great bagel place down the block. Wanna go there?”
“Sure. Sounds good.”
“Okay.”
We exit the building and head down the street. The endless swirl of commotion around us that makes it challenging to keep up a conversation. Sydney is unbothered, so I guess you get used to it.
Horns blare. Workers shout. Construction equipment clangs.
I half-yell over the noise to ask Sydney a few basic questions about school as we walk. Over the years, I’ve heard her share enough to have some sense of which questions to ask about the production she’s working on.
The bagel place is busy. It takes about fifteen minutes for us to order and pick up our food, then find an open booth to sit in.
I dig in right away. I ate breakfast early to make the train to come here, and I’m starving.
“Your friends seem nice,” I say. I’d never met anyone she goes to school with before.
“Well, they’rebigfans of you.”
I smirk, then turn serious. “Do your friends know? About…” I gesture toward her stomach.
Her expression shutters closed. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because when people find out you got knocked up in college, they think you’re slutty or stupid or both. I love Ruby and Bella,but they’re terrible secret-keepers. Once they know, everyone will. Plus, I’m single.”
My brow furrows. “What does your relationship status have to do with it?”
“Well, I’m not sure if you know this, but you have to have sex with a guy in order to end up pregnant. Since there’s no boyfriend in the picture…everyone’s going to wonder who the dad is. And I don’t feel like dealing with that.”
“Sarcasm not appreciated, Syd,” I tell her. “And not to burst your little denial bubble, but you can’t keep it a secret forever. Your friends will know you kept it a secret from them. And you could use the support. People to talk to. Cassia said she hasn’t talked to you all week. And Harrison…are you guys talking?”
She huffs, balling up her napkin and tossing it on the table. “Is that what this little visit is? Anintervention?”
“No. It’s just me, worried about you.”
She looks away, at the busy street outside. “I feel…ashamed. Like I fucked up and I should have known better.”
“Sydney…” I exhale. “That’s not how you should be thinking about this.”
“Why not? I had sex—bad sex—once, and now the rest of my life has been upended? What kind of messed-up punishment is that?”
Details about how my little sister got pregnant is not what I was angling for on this trip. I run a hand through my hair, trying to scrub any thought of her and Harrison from my brain.
