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It’s not until he settles back against the cushions that I realize he put something else on the television. I glance between him and the screen, too surprised to speak at first.
“Why are we watching this?”
He sips more beer, lifting his legs and resting them on the coffee table. “It’s what I thought you’d want to watch.”
The words I was too nervous to say when he asked are delivered simply. Easily, like it’s no big deal.
Holden looks at me. “Was I wrong?”
“No.”
“Okay then?”
I clear my throat. “Can I have some?”
He nods, then holds the bottle out to me again. I hesitate before sipping, rubbing my finger against the wet label until a few pieces of paper fall in my lap.
“I liked the taste.” I drink, then muster the courage to look him in the eye.
“You’d never swallowed before?”
“No.”
Something pleased and possessive washes over his expression, a response that makes my heart race and my blood warm. I wonder how he’d look at me if he knew my only sexual experiences have been with him.
I’m not brave enough to find out. I hand the bottle back and rest my head against the soft cushions. Focus on the screen, because this documentary about polar bears is one I’ve been wanting to watch.
“Why are you sitting so far away?”
I glance at Holden, then at the foot of space separating us. “Far away is a misnomer.”
“Stop talking like a nerd and move closer.”
“Wow. Such a sweet talker.”
He rolls his eyes. And then hemoves, which I’m not expecting.
Holden is suddenly everywhere. A hot thigh presses against mine. A warm arm wraps around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.
I don’t resist. I melt against him, feeling the ice around my heart thaw and crack. I tilt my head back, staring at the side of his jaw. The bruise there is faded now, nearly gone.
He doesn’t need to be sitting here, watching this. And he definitely didn’t need to glue our sides together.
“This is weird,” I whisper.
Holden rolls his head to the side so he’s looking at me. “Is it?” he asks before returning his attention to the screen.
And for the first time—ever—I consider that maybe he’s imagined this—us—too.
CHAPTER TEN
HOLDEN
Finn laughs, and it pulls me back to the present when I was just zoning out. The hard metal door I’m holding. The guys huddled around me. But then she appears, and I’m distracted again.
It was one thing ignoring Cassia at school before. It’s very different now. Knowing how she looks naked. How she tastes. How she looks on her knees. The sounds she makes when she comes.
Fuck.
