AllFreeNovel
Share Us
In contrast to my indecision, Cassia seems relaxed. She reclines against the seat and tucks one leg under the other.
Still wearing my varsity jacket, she’s difficult to look away from. I like her like this. Wearing my clothes in my truck. Innocent and sexy. Familiar and new.
I stop at a red light. Fiddle with the heat and some music, so we’re warm and not sitting in silence.
I tend to get lost in my own head while I’m driving. It’s an easy way to think things through without overanalyzing them. But now, with her, I can’t consider anything else.
“Can we do it again?” Cassia asks suddenly, right after I turn onto our street.
I glance over. “What?”
“Um, sex.” The faint glow of the streetlights is enough to illuminate her blushing. “Can we have sex again sometime?”
I pull into my driveway and park, mind spinning.
“Nevermind.” The momentary pause is all it takes for her to rethink things. “Forget it.”
I turn off the ignition at the same second her seatbelt clicks. I look over to see her reaching for the door handle.
“Cassia.” She keeps reaching, so I lean over and grab her hand. Then her chin, forcing her to look at me. “Yes.”
“You don’t have to say that,” she whispers. “I just…last time was…I was so nervous.” Cassia tries to look away, but I don’t let her. “It felt really good, but I want to know what it’s like when I know what to expect and you’re not worried about hurting me…”
I brush her bottom lip with my thumb. “You don’t have to convince me, flower. I’m fully on board, trust me.” I’m getting hard at just the suggestion, but I don’t go into that level of detail.
“I’m not expecting anything to change between us, Holden. If you’re worried about that. We’re not friends anymore. I know you don’t want a relationship. I just…there’s no other guy I trust to…”
“Make you come?”
She scoffs but doesn’t dispute it. Trust feels especially important now that I know the truth behind her experience. I’m not just the guy she trusts. I’m theonlyguy who’s touched her intimately.
Silence stretches between us. Silence with anagreement.
“So were you thinking a code word or a schedule or…”
Cassia rolls her eyes. “I was thinking I sleep over at your house every Friday night.”
Today is Thursday, which means she’s talking about tomorrow.
I’ve never scheduled sex. Never expected sex. It’s always just happened. Planning it out is an idea I thought I’d hate, like a relationship. Like a box you’re stuck inside. But instead…I’m excited. Anticipation is thrumming inside me, knowing that sex will happen between us again.
“Okay?”
“Yeah?” She looks excited, and it twists my insides further.
Does she care it’s me, or is she just looking for a way to get off? I should hope it’s the latter. That’s always what I’ve been looking for when it comes to sex.
But instead, I’ll be disappointed if it’s not the former.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Night.”
She lingers for a minute, and I consider kissing her again. But my thoughts are already a snarled mess. I thought once would be it for us. Not because I wanted it to be, but because that seemed like the reality of our past and our futures.
Cassia climbs out of the cab, giving me a small smile before shutting the door. I watch in the rearview mirror as she crosses the street and enters her house, still warring with myself.
I always viewed staying away from Cassia as non-negotiable. Also in her best interest.
