AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I could have easily said I miss him, and it wouldn’t be any form of a lie. But I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced whathavingHolden is truly like. He was my first crush. Long before our friendship blew up, I hoped we’d become more. Instead, I got less.
I’ve never felt like he’s given me much. Nothing to my everything. The moments when we’ve had sex are some of the few times it felt like we were equals, when it felt like he wanted me just as much as I crave him.
There’s also a part of me that chases the boldness he pulls out of me. I do and say things around him I just know I’d never do or say around anyone else.
Like what I just did.
“Careful what you ask for. I could fuck you right here.”
I think he’s trying to shock me right back. Regain the upper hand. Holden is assuming the thought of having sex at school is unappealing to me.
And yeah, part of me is mortified by the prospect of a teacher or janitor catching us. But another part of me—alargerpart of me—finds the prospect of having sex here incredibly arousing. It’s the exact opposite of what anyone would expect from me.
“The locker room is empty, right?”
Holden raises a brow at me. I raise one right back.
He’s looking at me exactly the way he used to when we were younger. When he’d suggest staying up later to watch one more movie and I’d put on the second one. When I’d make a crazy shot from the street, and he’d miss. Half approval and half incredulity.
I used to think there was something else there too. Not love, but love-adjacent. Something more powerful than like or friendship.
I see it now, flickering across his face as he grips my waist and pulls me flush against his body.
“We could get caught,” he teases, slipping his thumb under the hem of my sweater and rubbing it back and forth just above the edge of my skirt. “Suspended. People would talk. They’d know you aren’t the good girl everyone thinks.”
I lean into him, letting Holden support most of my body weight. “Make it worth my while, then. I’m not risking all that for subpar sex.”
Holden’s hand stills on my back. He laughs. “Baby, it’s never going to be subpar between us.”
There’s affection and familiarity in his tone as he grabs my hand and tows me toward the locker room. My heart takes off at a gallop, excitement and anticipation coursing through me. I can’t believe we’re doing this. I can’t believeIsuggested this.
I’ve never been in the boys’ locker room, obviously. The layout is the same as the girls’. I look around like there’s something to see, fiddling with the hem of my sweater.
Holden glances at me as the door swings shut. “We don’t have to—”
“I want to.” I’m nervous, but it has nothing to do with second-guessing. For once I want to regret what I’ve done, not what I haven’t.
I’m not sure I could ever regret anything involving him, though.
I reach down and pull off the boots I’m wearing. The tile is cold and hard but looks clean. I peel off my tights next, followed by my underwear, leaving my skirt on. Based on the way Holden is looking at me, he likes that I did.
He takes a seat on the scarred wooden bench that runs the length of the room, knees parted and expression serious. I walk closer and closer, not stopping until my legs hit the edge of the bench and I’m standing between his.
This isn’t the frantic hook-up I was picturing. I thought we’d come in here and it would happen immediately. That drawingthings out would have lost the appeal to him. That the novelty has worn off, like Grace said.
I startle when his hands land on my thighs and slide up, under my skirt. Staying upright becomes a challenge as he cups my ass and then slides a hand between my legs. My breathing becomes loud. Ragged. In the quiet room, it’s all I can hear.
“Always so wet for me,” he whispers.
I moan, everything else but him melting away. One of his hands moves to the waistband of the mesh shorts he’s wearing, pulling out the long, pulsing length of his dick. I ogle his erection as it bobs between us.
I wasn’t lying when I said I missed it. I lean forward and suck him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the flared tip of his cock. Holden’s hips jerk, his hand sliding into my hair as I pull him deeper into my mouth. His grip tightens as my lips slide along his length.
Abruptly, he pulls away. “You’re too good at that.”
I lean down and kiss him, and he pulls me into his lap. Our mouths set a rhythm that our bodies match. He’s everywhere. A hot tongue in my mouth. A warm palm sliding under my sweater and into my bra. A hard penis rubbing between my legs.
I freeze when I feel the head probe my entrance. Holden stops kissing me, pulling back and studying me with concern. “What’s wrong?”
