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“I know you know this, but thanks,” I mutter, not meeting his eye. He’s done a lot for me, keeps doing a lot for me and he puts up with all my shit.
“No worries. But this is it now. We’re getting to the bottom of it all. You’re letting go of the past, Cam. This is your chance.” He sighs sternly. “Don’t you miss the old you?” He holds my stare.
He doesn't mean rekindling things with Holly, but laying my hurt to rest. She is here, and I can finally voice my hurt and draw a line under it all. Then I can start to live again, as me.
Cameron Stone. Not this angry, chaotic mess of a man, ready to snap at any second. “I know. Yeah.” This is it. When I return to Richmond, I'm heading straight for Holly’s. “Let me grab a shower and I’ll sort breakfast.”
“Full English!” Dan demands, making me chuckle.
Chapter Seventeen
Holly
Ileave Cameron’s in a tearful blur. I don’t recall pulling up at home or seeing Emily out when she agreed to watch Beau after Cameron dropped his bombshell in the shop. I still feel that pull. I wish he hadn’t kissed me. It’s on a running loop in my mind. Electric and bright, nothing like the dark and foreboding man I just left in a rage. He’s no longer the man I fell in love with. It’s all my fault. I didn’t believe him. I ran. I can’t even begin to comprehend how distraught he must have felt, how heartbroken and traumatised he must have been all those years ago. Cameron, for all his good looks and cockiness, was a proud person when we were younger. He was respectful and only a gentleman with me, unless I begged for more. My cheeks flame, and my eyes spill over with tears I have no right to shed.
He’s right. I only lost what I chose to give up, but he lost it all. Everything.
How could his parents disown him, and where the hell is that vile creature, Sarah Daniels?
If I want to win back even a shred of his trust, I need to give him time. Space. I owe it to him to make it up to him. If that means fixing what was growing between him and Nadine, then so bit it.
Beau is lying upside down on the sofa watching a programme. “Comfy?” I ask quietly.
“It’s all upsy daisy down.” She giggles.
“Just be careful,” I say and race upstairs to get my laptop. The last thing I want to do is ask around and add fuel to the fire; it’d turn from underfoot embers to a roaring wildfire that sweeps through Richmond with Cameron at the centre again.
I'm so bloody naive sometimes it’s infuriating. Clutching my stomach, I stop and breathe in deeply, quelling my nausea. Had I stayed, none of this would ever have happened.
I fire up my laptop and wait impatiently as it loads, and as soon as I have access to the internet, I google Cameron's name, my fingers hovering over the letters R.A.P and…I feel sick. I can’t type it. Instead, I type trial, the year, and hit enter. Link upon link, images assault my eyes. My horrified gaze dances over headlines and articles, but it’s one picture in particular that grabs my attention. My hands shake when I click to open the photo. I bite my lip to stop myself from wailing loudly and scaring Beau. He’s sickly thin. Gaunt. And his eyes are like two orbs of hopelessness. Clothes that once clung to him hang off, his hair dishevelled and uncut. I sob at the image of the boy who I left. The man I helped create.
My fingers move quickly over the keys as I read over articles, seeing mention of a possible prison sentence and court dates. I see a snap of Sarah looking like the snotty stuck-up bitch she was. “Vile human!” I growl. I hate her. How could she? I want to track her down and shake the hell out of her. I realise I'm breathing heavily, and my fingers are clenched tight into a fist. Slamming my eyes shut, I picture that night.
I’d arrived late to the party. I wanted to finish a paper that was due the following week. I can’t even recall what it was now.
Every year,Cole Peters held an end of schoolhouse party. His parents would be off, glitzing it up somewhere, and he’d go wild. The party was in full swing by the time I arrived, and it was clear on entry I was the only person sober. There was an odd atmosphere, a niggling thrum about the place, the people. Some were more than just drunk, and I immediately felt on edge. I searched for Cameron everywhere, but I couldn’t see him. The floor and sides were littered with bottles and pizza trays, cups and shot glasses. The pungent smell of smoke was everywhere, but it wasn’t just cigarette smoke, but something else. I noticed people I didn’t recognise from school, older people. Someone grabbed me and asked for a kiss, and I tugged away, rushing to find Cameron, but instead I found Dan and Cole instead.
“Where’s Cam?” They never accepted me. Cam had said they were threatened by my presence in his life, but I never knew if that was really the cause. Seeing their eyes, I could tell they had taken something. “I can’t find Cam,” I said again. “Have you seen him?”
Shrugging, Cole twisted his neck to look at me and sniggered. “Maybe.”
“Cole, come on.” I sighed as Brant appeared, staggering. His pupils were wide.
“He may or may not be with Sarah.” Cole’s older brother ginned wickedly.
“Excuse me?”
“Excuse me,” Cole mimicked, earning laughs from all the intoxicated guys. “You’re such a prude, Cam needs to sack you off.” Cole’s older brother scoffs.
“So he’s with Sarah, where?” I tried my hardest not to let my thoughts run away, but something deep inside told me something was wrong.
“Spare room,” Dan stated bluntly, and I gripped my stomach. My eyes stung, but I blinked my hurt back and gave them an insincere smile. They were drunk and probably high if their eyeballs were anything to go by. Maybe they were messing with me? I took the stairs two at a time. A few jeers started and my heart slammed like a piston in my chest. I gripped the handle. Held my breath and my heart came to a painful stop.
“No!” I choked. Sarah was writhing on top of Cameron, and he was grunting, his hand swiping across her breasts, then pressing at her shoulder, and his face twisted to mine in agonised pleasure.
“No!” I cried, stumbling back. A ruckus of laughter broke out, and I twisted, nearly falling over the bannister. Shakily, I ran down the stairs. My legs threatened to give way, my stomach curdling, and all the while everyone around me was laughing.
“Mummy?”Startled, I slam the laptop shut and smile at Beau, but my face is sodden with tears. “Mummy, why are you sad?” Her lip wobbles, and I pull her to me, holding tight.
