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“Isn’t that part of talking?”
Magdalena moans. “I’m done.”
“No,” Hendrick whispers, “you’re not.”
I press the intercom and give instructions to the driver before sitting back. I let myself get soft inside her. Hendrick is clearly doing the same.
“We should keep her naked tonight,” I say.
“Sometimes you can be pretty smart,” Hendrick says, kissing her throat.
I smile at her.
But inside, I know.
This is a goodbye fuck.
TWENTY-SEVEN
MAGDALENA
This evening’s like a moment out of time. We pull up in the limo outside the front door of Jac’s place.
I look up at the looming mansion and at them. I should be happy, and I am, but it’s bittersweet. A happiness with a dark, sharp edge. Because I still need to go. Harry will want to go, and I owe her. And…there isn’t a future with two men who don’t like each other. Maybe they don’t hate one another like they used to. Something’s changed, that’s clear.
I didn’t lie when I couldn’t make a choice, and in that moment, I knew.
These two gorgeous, dangerous men…I don’t just love them in different ways, I don’t just lust for them for different reasons. It’s more than that. Ying and yang. Yang and ying. They’re both the same and different. I might love one thing in Hendrick and another in Jac. And I might lust for the feral violence of Jac and the cerebral mind fuck of Hendrick, but it’s all the same.
I can’t explain how it’s the same and different. It just is.
And I love them.
Both the same.
I don’t think I could be happy with one and not the other.
I don’t think they could both share me for the long term. They’ll destroy each other.
So, I’ll have to be the strong one. I’ll shoulder the love and the fall out of pain and walk away.
I’ll go where they can’t ever find me.
There has to be a place.
I won’t cause the destruction of one to bring myself happiness. And I won’t have them tear each other apart.
But I’ll take this. Tonight. Tomorrow if I can, and even the next day. I’ll take what I can get until I slip away into the darkness with Harry.
It’s better that way.
Jac opens the car door and looks at me.
They’re still inside me. They’re soft, for them, but still big enough to feel them.
Hendrick pulls out of me and helps me off Jac.
“Out you go,” he says, and he smacks my ass as Jac steps out.
