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I lift my head off the pillow, propping myself up on an elbow. “Do you need something?”
There is a faint rustle of fabric as he adjusts himself, trying to find the pocket of warmth he’d created before. “No, I was only going to say you could come closer, if you want.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
That’s all the impetus I need. Sliding over, I move in so close that there is barely an inch between his back and my chest. Placing my pillow next to his, our heads are near enough that my breathing ruffles his hair. I’ve barely stopped moving before Nico pushes himself back against me, tucking his hips into thewider cradle of mine. I suck in a surprised breath, and drop my arm around him automatically.
“Your feet are cold,” he tells me, but nestles closer all the same.
There’s nothing cold about him right now; he feels like a furnace. Carefully, I wrap my arm more securely around him, noticing as I do that this is a prime position for keeping an eye on his breathing. He still smells faintly of hospital antiseptic, which makes me want to scrub him down in the shower. I want him to smell likemyNico, which is, of course, wildy absurd. He’s not my anything.
“Do you have to leave tomorrow?” His voice is soft, but not like he’s purposely trying to keep it low. Soft like it’s too much of a strain to speak louder. I frown into the back of his head, parsing out the question.
“For practice, you mean? Yes. I missed today, but unless I want to be benched for our next game, I can’t miss anymore. But I’ll be back, as soon as it’s over. Might stop by home first and pick up some clothes and a toothbrush, but then I’ll be back.”
“Oh.” Relief is clear in his voice. “That’s good. I’ll miss you when you go.”
Eyes wide, I stare at the soft, short hairs bracketing his ear. I can’t believe he just said that. He must really be sick, to rattle off something as heartfelt as that without a second’s hesitation. I should probably forget he said it, and not hold it against him when he’s feeling well enough to stand on his own.
“Well, I’ll just stay until you tell me to leave. You don’t have to miss me at all.” He shifts, under my arm, and sighs. It’s a short, painful barb of a breath.
“You’d be easy to fall in love with, if I didn’t know what a spectacularly bad idea that would be.”
“Are you trying to be cruel, or have you just had too many antibiotics and not enough food?”
Another sigh, this one beckoning in another round of hacking coughs. I hold him a little tighter once it abates. He takes his time in answering, which is fair since I didn’t mean it as a serious question. Truthfully, I’m half hoping he’ll fall asleep and not remember this conversation even took place. He won’t like to be reminded of what he said when he was too sick to screen his words.
“I’m sorry, Anthony.”
I rub a soothing hand over his chest. I’m sorry, too, that he thinks falling in love with me would be a ‘spectacularly bad idea’. “Don’t be. I just don’t want you to say something you’ll regret once you’re not hopped up on those good hospital drugs.”
He makes a sound, something caught between a laugh and cough. I continue rubbing his chest; useless, I know, but it makes me feel better. I wish the hoodie wasn’t in the way. He falls asleep after that, pressed back against me and fingers curled around my arm. I move my face closer to the back of his neck, seeking skin on skin contact, and follow him into sleep.
Nico
I wake up, disoriented and with the strong urge to pee. My entire body aches; I’m not sure which is worse, the pounding in my head or the almost unbearable discomfort in my chest. I really shouldn’t have waited so long to go to the doctor. But maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem, since my untimely hospital visit beckoned in another visitor as well.
Anthony is curled around me, big body aligned with mine and nose tickling the back of my ear. He’s dead asleep, breathing the slow, heavy breaths of the exhausted. His arm is a substantial dead weight over me, and he’s crooked his fingers into the neck of the hoodie, knuckles grazing my throat when I move. In the way that often happens when you’re sick, I have the sudden and unexplainable urge to cry.
Behind me, Anthony shifts in his sleep and his lips coast over the back of my neck. It’s pitch black in the room, and I’ve got no idea what time we might have fallen asleep. I feel wrung out, sweaty, and in pain. I’m also starting to feel the first tendrils of embarrassment, as I remember what I said to him last night.Christ, what a fucking terrible thing to say to the man. I’m not sure what sort of madness possessed me to be that honest; it was needlessly hurtful and, as Anthony correctly pointed out, cruel. I owe him an apology.
I also really do need to use the bathroom, or I’ll be apologizing for something else. Running my fingers along his forearm, I turn as much as I’m able with his arm around me. “Anthony?”
He wakes up much quicker than I’d intended, arm banding around my chest before loosening just as quickly. He half sits upso that he’s looming over me. I feel his fingers touch the side of my face.
“Sorry, Nico, what is it? You okay?”
Ugh, and here I go, wanting to fucking cry again. Swallowing around the now painful lump in my throat, I cough briefly before speaking. I sound ridiculously weak, even to my own ears. “I’m fine, I just have to go to the bathroom.”
Reaching over, he snaps on the bedside light. Blinking rapidly, I try to get him into focus as he sits all the way up beside me, presenting me with a view of his naked back. His shoulders flex as he rubs a hand over his face; my fingers itch to touch that back, so I tuck them safely beneath the covers. Eventually, I sit up, too, swinging my legs over the side of the bed in a movement that I immediately regret. The room sways like the deck of a boat, and I feel myself pitch forward.
“Easy,” Anthony murmurs, a hand on my shoulder to steady me.
“Sat up too fast,” I explain, squeezing my eyes shut and praying to literally any god that might be listening toplease get rid of this fucking dizziness, if nothing else. “Just a little dizzy.”
He rubs a soothing circle on my shoulder. “Take your time.”
